why we come here

[drache]

during the past year I have been spending a lot less time on the forum, primarily because of life's busyness
I've been dipping in, reading a few posts here and there, whereas I used to read every single one
because of my sparse attendance, I don't feel qualified to identify a trend, but I noticed a few things that bother me
I am aware that some other forums are primarily places where people can show themselves off, and there is certainly an aspect of this here - we all want others to compliment us on our wonderful animals, especially because neighbours and family may not be as enthused as we'd like them to be
there is an additional aspect to this forum though, and that's education
new members usually come for one of those two reasons - they are either already into garters, and now that they have found us, they can show off their critters and commune with like minds; or they just found a garter, ran over it with their lawn mower, or it turned up in their basement, and they want to know how to take care of it
then of course there is the hybrid scenario of the new member who's had garters for years, never gave them proper husbandry, and they came here because they can't figure out why their garter is suddenly having seizures
so this educational mission is in my mind an important part of this forum
I'd like to point out that there are a number of reasons why a person would not take care of their animals, and one of the possibilities is that their previous sources of information seemed trustworthy even if the info was wrong, and that they're not necessarily idiots
with that in mind, I think the forum could be a better educational resource, if we just welcomed newcomers and supplied them with correct info, rather than jumping down their throats for not being enlightened already
to model:
"most people's experience show that it's better to provide a temperature gradient, and you can do that by . . . ", rather than "you idiot! You fried your snake", or something like that
I do understand that we also get the occasional member who is a genuine donkey's butt who has immense experience and can tell us all that while he is not following any of what we would recommend, his garters have all been thriving for their full 5 year life spans
it is very tempting to bash that person, but I think we should first point out that that's not their full life expectancy, and that perhaps he or she could get them to live longer if they tried adjusting some of their set-up
when we bash a person, they may just go away, and we've lost every chance to give their garters a better life. So let's be kind to the people and hope that that kindness will trickle down to their animals, resulting in better care
maybe some of our members need their egos stroked a bit more than the average person - I just hope they're here for more than just that

[guidofatherof5]

So let's be kind to the people and hope that that kindness will trickle down to their animals, resulting in better care

Agreed.

Sometimes we have a conflict with the person but it's the welfare of their animals that we are most concerned with.

[aSnakeLovinBabe]

Good topic. Is there a certain thread or threads that provoked this?

[ssssnakeluvr]

very good!! thats why I don't post on here as much as I used to..... bit of drama on here and I get enough of that with 3 teenage grils living here...

[drache]

Good topic. Is there a certain thread or threads that provoked this?

being that I am not here that much, it may just be accidental, but it's been close to half the threads I've looked into, and I also don't care to be specific, because I'd rather everybody be nicer than any one person feel accused
it feels so much better to have a resolve to copy what the kind people do because they seem to know how, than to feel like a dope because one's just not learned yet how to say things nicely
and btw - the use of words like "nice" and "kind" is making me feel like an old lady, so please don't make me go on about this

[RicMartin]

It's a great site. It took me a long while to feel comfortable to contribute, and now looks like I'm also slowing down. Yes, folk snapping at others' posts & trolling in general decreases this site's interest for me, but it's still a great site.

[Hornets23]

Great point youre making Rhea. I think a lot of people would agree with what youre saying. You dont sound like an old lady...what youre saying is makes sense..

[ConcinusMan]

very good!! thats why I don't post on here as much as I used to..... bit of drama on here and I get enough of that with 3 teenage grils living here...

You see? there is again. I brought this up before. There are some "high quality people" with a lot of advanced knowledge and things to share that could really boost the quality of threads around here but they aren't participating much, if at all, anymore. I shouldn't have to repeat their reasons for not coming around much these days. Besides that, if I did repeat it, I'd have a bunch of people calling me an A-hole and jumping on me just for saying what nobody else seems to have the guts to say.

[Spankenstyne]

Things go in phases as well, every place has ups & downs and lulls in activity.

I do have to say that things are relative, this forum is still one of the friendliest and most drama-free forums I've ever been a member of. Sometimes people get caught up in stuff, usually due to feeling passionate about the subject matter, and need to step back a bit and think before hitting "post" but it's such a low percentage compared to anywhere else. It's also usually coming from a good place so people can agree to disagree and move on.
It's good to bring it to people's attention if it seems to be getting out of hand and the only way to rectify is to "do" and to act & respond in the way we would like to be treated and see others treated.

Act as if you're talking to the person face to face and usually there are few problems.

[snakehill]

I was recently attacked for comments that I had made on the other pets thread. I was totally taken aback by how nasty this person was! But I was not going to let this person attack me and not defend myself! Sometimes you have to be honest even if some people think you are not being nice!