Its oh so quiet Shh Shh

[kibakiba]

It's no what you say, its how you say it. With typing you cant really determine the emotion being put out by the other people... Whether it's sarcastic, angry, happy, etc. The way you say things on here, it always seems like your pissy at everyone and everything. When you post, to me, it does always seem like you're being rude. I'm sure I've been guilty of "whining" but if I have, maybe you should remember that I have a problem that I'm not going to flaunt around on the forum. A lot of people come here to relax and discuss garters, not read posts that seem to be accusing everyone of whining. Maybe lighten up your posts a bit so they don't seem like you're so pissed off at everyone. I'm also not trying to bash you if it seems like it, just giving advice that I think might help.

[ConcinusMan]

It's no what you say, its how you say it. With typing you cant really determine the emotion being put out by the other people... Whether it's sarcastic, angry, happy, etc. The way you say things on here, it always seems like your pissy at everyone and everything. When you post, to me, it does always seem like you're being rude.

And that is the problem. I keep getting grossly misinterpreted. People keep assuming I mean one thing or mean something personal. It's got to a point where I can't say anything at all without people assuming that just because it's coming from me, I must mean something rude or personal by it and so that's how they take it. I'm getting made out to be an *** here constantly.

Sure, I suppose there's something about the way I say things that is contributing to the problem. Knowing how I am, people should try to give me the benefit of the doubt. That's all I am asking.

[Mommy2many]

Richard,

In regards to the thread in question, here is where it all went south:

Well it is kinda ridiculous. Sure, put some water and food right where the snakes are already hanging out, and they're probably going to take advantage of it, but with or without the "baiting" the snakes were already there. It's not like you're going to draw them in by placing food and water dishes out. They're not feral cats and dogs for cryin' out loud.

The thread was started to introduce our group to Terry's "sunroom" and the snakes it attracts, spring after spring. He chose the name and it was not meant literally.

To make a comment such as the one above, was unnecessary. I think what the members are trying to point out, is that in most cases, any negative comment should be well thought out before posted. In most cases they are unwarranted.

I hope this helps.

[ConcinusMan]

Yes it does. I am sorry I didn't read the entire thread. I've seen other threads where people thought they could attract snakes by putting out food for them or enticing them to go into a "trap" by baiting it. It never worked. This is one of those situations where I thought I was in one of those threads because of the title. I did see that snakes were already there at the beginning and they did take some of what was placed right in front of them though.

Anyway, my fault. What I said was misplaced and didn't belong there. I am sorry. I misunderstood. If I do that, and then I myself am misunderstood on top of it, things get all messed up.

Some of the hard feelings toward me stem from something entirely different. I had some things to say and some people didn't like it one bit. They're carrying that over into the rest of the forum when it comes to how they respond to me. I would very much like it to stop. I'm really not the a-hole a lot of you think I am. I certainly wouldn't hold it personally against someone if they were to speak their minds if some things bothering them about whats happening on the forum even if I didn't agree with them. I said my peace about that and now it seems some people hold a grudge.

I know, this is only made worse by my screwing up and saying things that are easily misinterpreted, and made worse by this latest misunderstanding. I apologize.

Just for the record, I am not "pissed off" at everyone. If I say something that sound like I am, then there's surely another explanation. I was getting annoyed at peoples reactions because I didn't quite understand why they were doing it. I see where I went wrong in this case. Again, I apologize for that.

[Mommy2many]

Thank you for the apology. I read the thread and really thought that you just missed the point. That is why I tried to clarify.

Many times, I will sit at a post and write something and then delete the whole thing.

I think it is safe to take a "I'll write it, stick it in an envelope and see if it still applies later approach" even if it means waiting a few minutes. Sometimes, if we write how we feel and read it back before hitting the "send" button, we may rethink what we wrote.

We should always read our posts from the other person's point of view.

Thank you, Richard.

[Stefan-A]

I don't even know what you're trying to say there Stefan. This has gotten way out of hand. I may have said things a while that people didn't like but I had to get that off my chest. I am sorry if you didn't like it, and sorry if it made you angry but this is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about when I said those things. This is exactly what I meant about all the "whining". Can't make everybody happy 100% of the time. It seems now, with a hand full of you there isn't anything I can say that doesn't piss you off and so now everything I say seems to offend no matter how unoffensive it may or may not be.

See, that's the attitude right there. You didn't have to get anything off your chest and you didn't have to do it by essentially blaming everybody else. This is a public forum, not a therapist's office.

Nobody's asking you to make everybody happy, but is a little bit of tact really too much to ask for?

We're talking about baiting snakes, and I said how it was done using a fishing pole. And for that, I get jumped on and asked not to post and words are put into my mouth and assumptions are made about how I feel about a thread when I never made any statement either way about how I feel about the dang thread.

"Why? is it because the idea of baiting snakes is kind of ridiculous and amusing?" - There's something you said in regards to the thread.

Here's another comment, that shows, to me at least, that you didn't bother reading what the thread was about, or what was meant with the phrase "baiting snakes": http://www.thamnophis.com/forum/gene...tml#post155097
You could at least have read the first post of the thread. The thread was not about drawing snakes in with food and water, but out with a heat lamp.

Ever since I made that long winded post a while back that seemed to offend some of you so greatly, I cannot say anything right in your eyes ever again and offense to taken to everything. I don't find it to be a coincidence that I didn't name any names in that post but even so, the main people I was referring to also happen to be the ones that took the most offense to it. That says a lot. It's as if I said "those of you guilty of the whining, step up and take offense" because that's exactly what happened.

It's your attitude that "some of us" are finding annoying. You're not a victim, you're not being persecuted, or silenced and the poor reception cannot be blamed on everybody else. Nobody's singling you out, but you are constantly drawing negative attention to yourself. Going passive aggressive isn't going to help if you want to avoid pissing people off nor will it make people clueless as to who you're talking about, especially not the ones you're actually trying to avoid mentioning.

Now it seems, I can't even joke around, especially if it isn't all that tasteful without... well, you saw what happened. Just about anyone else could have gotten away with that just fine without all the backlash but not me. No way.

The thing is, not everybody else whines the way you do, or are consistently tactless, or make jokes that are indistinguishable from insults. Every time you post (or anyone else does), that post is going to be taken in the context of your posting history. You're not working with a blank slate here, nor does anyone else. Every post is judged based on the posting history of each individual. And I do see you making a lot of quite decent posts.

Like I said, it's out of hand. A few of you choose to bash me at every opportunity over the pettiest little things. Now come on. Is this really necessary?

You're not being bashed at every opportunity, nor is there any need for it. Just cut down on the finger pointing and think twice before you post any honest opinions or jokes. That concerns you as much as it does anyone else.

[ConcinusMan]

I got it. Enough said.

[ConcinusMan]

Woke up this morning to 64 degrees.
Hope the rain will hold off until after my visit to the snake den.
Calling for a high of 70 today.
Tomorrow highs in the 40's.

Uggg!

Woke up to overcast and 40. 50 and rain showers today. Same as every day for the past month. Guess what the 10-day forecast says? You guessed it. Exactly the same, every day. But hey, I guess it's spring. Tulips bloomed yesterday and this morning the robins are singing for the first time this year. They're running a little late. Normally they're laying eggs the first week of April. They haven't even started building nests yet.

[Mix]

It's about 60 here, sunny spells and dry. Now if only we had wild garters

[zooplan]

It´s about 65 and strong sun here.
I was weeding in my outdoor enclosure
wearing only a polo shirt but no jaket needed

I´ll have to hurry to get my garden prepared.
The com salad is ready for harvesting.