That's Not Punny!!!

[Snake lover 3-25]

lol wow that's a lot of jokes!!!!! love them thanks

[gregmonsta]

Here's a diluted version of one of my favourites

A bear was chasing a rabbit around the woods, when the rabbit came across a magic frog. He said that if they stopped fighting he'd grant them 3 wishes each "Bear, you go first" the frog said. So the bear wished that all the bears in the wood except him were female. The rabbit then asked for a motorbike." poof, two wishes left." " duh, " thought the bear, "rabbit could have just asked for money and then he could have bought his own motorbike" So bear then wished that all the bears except him in the next wood were female too. The rabbit then asked for a motorcycle helmet, put it on and kickstarted the engine. The bear was shocked at how thick the rabbit was being, he could have asked for more money and bought his own
" Rabbit, your last wish" the frog said. The rabbit said: "I wish the bear was gay", and drove off into the distance.

[ssssnakeluvr]

LOL!!!!!

A bear and a rabbit were in the local forest outhouse....both taking a poop )gotta use clean language...) the bear turned to the rabbit and asked if he had problems with poop sticking to his fur. the rabbit said no, so the bear wiped his butt with the rabbit!!!

[gregmonsta]

excellent

[Charlet_2007]

lmao lmao lmao

[Stefan-A]

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

It actually happened that way to someone I know. The car was standing still at a pedestrian crossing, a pedestrian started crossing the street, stopped by the car and suddenly threw himself onto the hood of the car, rolled off it and tried to claim that the car hit him. Unfortunately for him there were several witnesses.

[infernalis]

Once upon a time there was a gloomy village just south of York called Trid.

Trid was a peaceful town with one single winding road that ended in the centre of town, surrounded by vast forests and rolling hills.

Once a week the town shopkeeper would have to trek into York for supplies, This task horrified the man for there was giant that lived in the hills who would sit patiently waiting for the shopkeeper to pass.

Each time as the shopkeeper would walk past the forest at the base of the hills the giant would run up from behind and kick the poor man into next week.

Having endured all he could take, the shopkeeper placed a sign in the window that read as follows. "Help wanted, Errand boy to fetch supplies from York, top pay offered"

The first person to reply was promptly sent to York with a list of items to procure, as the young lad passed through the forest at the base of the hills the giant ran up and kicked the lad just as he had the shopkeeper in the past.

When the battered and bruised young man returned, he said I quit! You don't posses enough money to get me to make that journey again.

This repeated several times until one day the people of Trid decided to enlist the help of a local Rabi who could hopefully reason with the giant and bring an end to this madness.

As the Rabi walked through the forest at the base of the hills, the giant appeared from nowhere as he has many times before, except this time he stopped dead in his tracks and allowed the Rabi to pass.

Confused and somewhat thankful, the Rabi turned to the giant and said why did you not kick me?

The giant said

"Silly Rabi kicks are for trids"

[guidofatherof5]

That was a long road, Wayne

[infernalis]

A friend Mick who lives in Sunderland UK told me that at a pub one night while I was visiting, It seemed a lot funnier when we were tanked on fine English lager.

[ssssnakeluvr]

a guy drinking at a bar and was talking to the bartender. he told the bartender he could pee more accurately than anyone in the area...he could hit a shot glass from 10 feet away and not spill a drop. the bartender told him he was full of it. the man insisted he was that good. so he bet teh bartender 100 bucks he could stand on the bar and pee in a shot glass on the other end of the bar. the bartender couldn't pass up the challenge, heck, whats a little pee, with drunks barfing in here. easy money he thought. You're on the bartender told him. the man climbed up on the bar while the bartender set up a shot glass. the man started peeing all over the bar never coming close to the shot glass!!! the bartender starts laughing and takes the 100 bucks. the man starts laughing at him. what's so funny, you just threw away a hundred bucks for nothing??? the man smiled and said yea, but I just bet my friends over at that table in the corner 500 bucks that I could get up here and pee all over your bar and you would just stand there and laugh!!!