That's Not Punny!!!

[Charlet_2007]

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York two days before
Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of
misery is enough".

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father,
"You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get
there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there
tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

[drache]

very funny, Natalie
this may take me through the rest of the family event - thanks

[infernalis]

Thanks, I just smiled at my screen

[jitami]

Very cute Natalie!

[Charlet_2007]

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin
his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she
would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise
the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card,
And write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He
would then arrange for the
child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed
and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce

[infernalis]

My meatballs just shrank

[ssssnakeluvr]

LOL!!!!! Laughed my arse off on that last one!!!!!

[guidofatherof5]

A couple were in the hospital awaiting their first child to be born. As the man's wife went into labor the Dr. asked the husband if he would volunteer to try a new machine he had just invented. The Dr. said it would make his wifes labor much more comfortable. He explained the machine transferred some of the labor pain from the wife to the father. Since the man was a loving husband and wanted to help, he agreed to try it. As his wife went into hard labor the Dr. set the machine on 10% transfer. The husband said he was doing okay and told the Dr. to turn it up. The Dr. set it at 25%. The husband said he was doing fine and his wife appeared to be much more comfortable. The husband told the Dr. to crank it up. Up to 75% it went. The man was feeling fine and requested 100%. The Dr. set the machine at 100%. The wife delivered the baby without any discomfort at all. The husband said that he felt fine and commented on how easy it was.
All seemed fine and the happy couple left the hospital with their new baby. They arrived home only to find the UPS driver dead in the driveway

[Charlet_2007]

oh crap lol

[Snake lover 3-25]

i don't get it??????