garter gathering

[kibakiba]

Oh, I am pulling out my hair. That is a very nice poem, Le Ann.

[PINJOHN]

ggreat stuff Le ann and greg but we are still not getting the numbers, come on everyone limericks are easily the simplest of poems you can deliberately miss spell, you can stretch your vowels, you can employ double negatives, anything goes with limericks.
a couple of new entrants in this months photo contest and more people voted in last months so we are headed in the right direction.
taxi work was slow this morning so here's a few more just to encourage you to make an effort.


a garter snake owned by young dave
had habits uncouth and deprave
with complete lack of class
he just released his gas
dave said garter you farter behave

there was a young girl from rangoon
just the sight of a snake make her swoon
and thats just for starters
when she saw my garters
she flew up the road like a loon

a boy from the bijou's named dork
claimed that rattlesnakes tasted like pork
the result of his say
means theres none left today
tell them garters are flavored like chalk

a nasty young woman names Sadie
did garter snake deals that were shady
the police were soon told
of san fran's she'd sold
now prison is housing this lady

an ignorant fellow called bill
met a garter snake out on the hill
he was filled with alarm
but the snake meant no harm
so why, tell me why, did he kill?

a kindly young driver named pete
saw a garter snake crossing the street
the boy held his nerve
took it into a swerve
so the snake is still living, how sweet

a garter snake keeper named Ed
was alarmed when he found one had fled
with his wifes paranoi'er
it was bound to annoy'er
and it did when it slept in her bed

that dipsy young lady Chantel
tried to rescue a snake from a well
the snake said you dope
i cant climb that rope
your bound to be blonde i can tell

there was a young fellow named Jake
with a stick he was poking a snake
the end of this farce
meant two fangs in his ar$e
that snake had took all he could take

there was a young lady from binder
didn't see a big python behind'er
the resultant attack
turned her into a snack
now they've looked and they've looked but cant find'er

a rattle snake lunged at young hilda
bit her twice in the bum an near killed 'er
but she died of the shame
with no venom to blame
it was sucked out by Richard the builder

said a garter to one of his dates
at sex you are up with the greats
but it has to be said
that my face is still red
since you dragged me past all of my mates

[Mommy2many]

There was a garter named Suzie from Perth
We're told she had a wide berth
She ate all Greg had
Which made him quite sad
And put a big hole in the earth.

John writes poems about snakes
Imagination is all that it takes
A word here and there
And you're poem will be fair
A book in the end it will make

Steve said I need to relate
A Radix is all that it takes
To make me quite fond
Of a permanent bond
Just between me and my snakes

Mustang says he has a Checker
Of what? Is what we should whether
Get the thought outta your head
It's my snake's name that he said
And not what you thought was improper

Babies are arriving soon
They'll be here, well before June
From sea to sea
It's amazing to me
Their arrival will have us over the moon

Our poems, they have me concerned
Our friends have not taken their turn
To think of a rhyme
To help pass the time
An ode to the snakes, it's been earned

Dekayi's are another kind
Of snakes that come to mind
They have quite cute faces
Are found in most places
Love slugs and things that have slime

[PINJOHN]

thats a great collection Le Ann, i can tell that you have discovered just how much fun it can be trying to make things rhyme in a limerick.
what i enjoy the most is that i am continually coming up with lines that fit perfectly but are rude or have a swear word in them and have to be jettisoned quickly. its not intentional they just leap out at you. this leads to me giggling away like a naughty schoolboy, perhaps thats the best thing about it, if it makes you feel younger it cant be doing you any harm.
by the way i really took a shine to your next to last limerick it gave me one of my [wish i'd written that] moments.
taxi business was better this morning so i only managed a few


a randy old garter from Leeds
as a protest refused all his feeds
till his owner should go
to the next reptile show
for a female,to meet all his needs


said an old, petshop, keeper named lee
my snakes are the cheapest you'll see
ten bucks for the garter
and thats just the starter
i'll throw in the cobra for free


an albino garter named Jock
thought protecting his skin was a crock
but being so vane
was to bring him much pain
going out, and not using,sunblock


a bad tempered keeper named bloom
kept venomous snakes in his room
during one of his rages
he smashed all their cages
then kept them at bay with a broom


as spring reached the garters down deep
there were hundreds amassed in a heap
said one whats the harm?
turn off that alarm
lets all get five minutes more sleep

[Mommy2many]

This is way too much fun. I too have thought up some naughty ones and have passed...except:

My Garter collection is spent
said Steve
Not sure what is meant
said We
You know said he
It was meant to be
With the ladies needing to pay rent, hehe

And then...

The Radix said there's a show
The Eastern's said, sure, we'll go!
All said it'd be nice
And then they thought twice
With our luck, it'll probably snow!

We snakes are all in the masses
But now, can't lay in the grasses
There's frost overhead
Up there, we'd be dead
So down here we'll save all our a$#'s

Spring is what is in store
With the sun, a wide open door
The snakies will date
And hopefully mate
It's what we all will long for

There once was a poet from Britain
Of snakes, we know he is smitten
He threw out a dare
For the forum to share
And now must keep track of what's written

Stefan said with a smile
I've been on this forum a while
A moderator I am
To monitor and stop spam
Just let me show you my style

Don know's his snakes more than many
Questions, are never ending
He know's his stuff
His words are not fluff
The answers he will be sending

[PINJOHN]

looks like they are leaving it up to us Le Ann if only the knew the laughs you have just trying to put them together. to use that tired old cliche its the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
unfortunately for me its nose to the grind stone now, that repair bill and resultant loss of work has to be paid for some how so its work and sleep for several days at least,hope every one has a good weekend
last few for a while

a snake once went out with a bear
and this lead to a torrid affair
the result of this pairing
gave genetics a stirring
we've now got king cobras, with fur


a fertile snake keeper named dell
noticed his wife start to swell
so dell just went wild
cos his wife was with child
and his girlfriend was gravid as well


a pair of Columbian boa
were given the invite by Noah
they said this is swell
can our friends come as well
they were told, more than two's, a no no'a


a lovely young garter named Matt
was murdered one day by a cat
but it all ended well
as the cat went to hell
the dog from next door saw to that

[PINJOHN]

Originally Posted by guidofatherof5
If you ever retire her Don. She's welcome to live on the Ranch.
I'm going to starting a retirement radix wing to the Ranch.
It's going to be called "Serpent Serenity" a radix retirement community.
Let me know what you think.
a radix retirement home what a concept i feel a rhyme coming on


Steve;s sunny ACHER'rs


In deepest darkest Iowa
where the deer no longer roam
they've come up with a great idea
an old thamnophis, home
so when your friend is past his best
and his lights begin to dim
then just pick up,your telephone
and quickly book him in
to get a room in this great place
they'll not be short of takers ______
in fact there'll be a scramble
for a place in sunny Ache'rs
when you send your friend by FedEx
and your eyes are filled with tears
let me, describe the place for you
just to allay your fears ______
the doors are wide and spacious
leading to a lounge_thats grand
there's a corridor, off to the left
with rooms on either hand

so lets look for an occupant
and try to get a sense
of what its like to make your home
in this garter residence
here's one now, and it must be said
he isn't looking great
if its not unkind for me to say
he's in a sorry state
with his poor old rheumy eyes, bloodshot
they've lost that vibrant gloss
his cheeks just hang below his chin
because of muscle loss
his skin appears to fall in folds
like a sack it seems to me
and he moves so slow,as if struck down
by a dreadful lethargy
my overall opinion, in life's glass
he's reached the dregs
your forced to the conclusion
he's way, passed, his last legs

if your thinking it's a radix
or perhaps a Florida blue
then you'd be wrong, cos that was Steve
i'v just described to you.


_LEGAL DISCLAIMER
I hope i'v_not upset you Steve
it's a fact thats so well known
your youthful and your healthy
with teeth that's all your own
with hair like Tony Curtis
but i hope you stay amused
cos i might just mean Yul Brynner
i get those two confused__

[guidofatherof5]

I love it and resemble that remark on occasion.

[RicMartin]

The Big Red Radix in the sky
Heard humans, and their Steve satire
The rhyme was good, if shy,
The words, fun, alight with epic fire,
So She decided to respond in kind
Attacking the keyboard with Her behind
This haiku She wrote:

Sha-She-Shi-Sho-Shoo!

Shpring shingsh and shprangsh for Shteve'sh Ranch

Sha-She-Shi-Sho- Shoo!

[RicMartin]

Couldn't help it. Your posts made my day, again. Steve, you are the very best sport, and this site is just plain full of good eggs. Thank you all.
Ric