Why?

[krystalirelan@southslope.]

I'm terified of spiders. But my kids love them. I tried not to show my fear while the kids were younger but now that they are old enough I make them remove the nasty thing. Of course my daughter told me that she just lifts up the cup (I put over the top w/a note about huge spider) , names it and off it goes. Still in my house!

[mikm]

Hello Cheryl ... how are you this morning ?? I am of the belief that one should do what they can in regards to assisting animals that are in need or danger. I think there is some human inclination to 'kill' or destroy what we fear rather then to try and understand 'it' on 'its' level. Some of us perceive our place in this world to be 'superior' to all other species on earth thereby granting ourselves permission to obliterate anything deemed 'lower then' seemingly with no remorse. I suspect those of us that feel a kinship with all forms of life embrace & explore what we do not understand. We see ourselves as natural guardians/protectors of all other living creatures for the very same reason. As more advanced beings we acknowledge our responsibility by choosing to help an animal in need.

While you need not constantly worry, I suspect your concern(s) will last a life time. Hang in there as the underlings of this planet thank you as do I .

best wishes,
marian

[drache]

Phobias a not so easy to overcome, but it sounds like in your case it's not quite that extreme and you also don't seem to think they're bad, because you're scared of them. You do probably realize, on a purely rational level, that even the "huge" ones are too small to do any damage to you.
But still . . .
Perhaps it's okay to just let your kids know that you're scared of spiders. Ask for their indulgence and protection. Offer them return indulgences.

[GarterGuy]

So, genes/instinct/past experience. To what extent is it possible to recondition yourself or others? Do I give up and live with the knowledge that a whole lot of people will just automatically kill any snake (and lizard, possum, bat, skunk) that they encounter? Do I continue to offer to relocate these little darlin's to my own yard and become the crazy old lady with all the animals? Do I get a life so I don't have to worry about this stuff?

No I don't think so. I grew up in a rather "redneck" family where snakes and such were bad and should be and were killed on site. But as I kept learning and growing, the people around me did the same. I'm not saying that they're all snake lovers now, but I've given them more of an understanding of what they are, what they're like and the place they have in nature. Everyone always is asking about my snakes or wants to see them when they come over and tells me about snakes they've seen, and even says how they used to just kill them, but now they just leave them be. Now this didn't happen over night by any means, but then people and their ideas are rather slow to change. Just be the best spokesperson for snakes that you can be. The people in my neighborhood know me as the "snake man" and have even come to my door asking if the "snakeman" is home, 'cause they've got a black snake in their garage or on they're patio. I relocate the animals, but at the same time, I talk to them about them and try to pass along a little education. Never underestimate what little you can do. As far as the last part, yeh, I know that kids will walk past my house and point and say, "There's where the crazy old snake man lives....I hear he feeds little children to his snakes if they come into his yard!!!!!".....but hey, what do I care....at least I'll be making a name for myself.....LOL.
Roy

[GarterGuy]

PS....As far as the past experiance thing....guess I'm a bit odd on that one. I was bit by my first snake, a northern water snake, when I was five years old. A rather bloody experiance, but didn't deter me a bit. I've even gotten to the point where I've lost the reflex action to "jerk" away from a snake bite....guess I'm just one of those messed up, rare ones who didn't get the natural fear of snakes gene....LOL.

[adamanteus]

Hi Cheryl, and welcome to the forum. Personally I don't think there's much instinct involved, I think it's purely a learned behaviour. I believe our instincts kick in when a genuine threat is perceived.....a snake hisses, a dog bares it's teeth, a person raises their hand etc. But that's just my opinion.

Ever construsted a hybernarium?

I have constructed a hibernaculum. Unfortunately, because of where I live, it will never be utilized by reptiles. However, every year I have hedgehogs, rodents, frogs and toads and a huge selection of invertebrates over-winter in it.

[Nova89]

well a few months ago i was reading a book, and they said fear of snakes is genetic. thousands of years ago, snakes used to kill our ancestors and our ancestors feared them. that is why if you put a snake next to MOST (not all) babies, even though they've never seen it before, they will immediately cry and get frightened, but if you put a toy next to a baby, they will play with it, even if they've never seen a toy.

[Nova89]

It is just a natural instinct.

[Serpentine99]

I think there is some human inclination to 'kill' or destroy what we fear rather then to try and understand 'it' on 'its' level.

This is most likely the reason why we humans rule the Animal kingdom. If it wasn't normal, our ancestors didn't take any chances and would probably kill anything out of the ordinary. Just a human life saving technique that's gone out of style in our civilization, now that we can relax and understand how the world goes round.

[Stefan-A]

This is most likely the reason why we humans rule the Animal kingdom. If it wasn't normal, our ancestors didn't take any chances and would probably kill anything out of the ordinary. Just a human life saving technique that's gone out of style in our civilization, now that we can relax and understand how the world goes round.

I don't see how it could have gone out of style. It's still necessary and beneficial for us to remove threats from our environment. Now that we've killed off the snakes (and large carnivores) in our environment (the developed world is heavily urbanized, which sort of rules out the "flee" option), it is safer for us and we can relax and pretend to understand how the world goes round.