My friends, I hope you're sitting down when you read this. You're never gonna believe it. Maybe. But mother love is probably the strongest emotion on earth - I think. Even stronger than hate.

So, Kenabec is back at the breeder's for 'reconditioning' from live pinkies back to f/t. It will be awhile before he comes home, I've been warned because this could take as long as two months. Okay. What has to happen has to happen.

Niizh, the love of my life, hadn't eaten in about 4-5 weeks. He's been active and ramblin' and moving - and even going up on his mopani log since I got him that moss that he just loves!

I was starting to get a wee bit worried, but not much since the guy is totally fine and I know it. But I didn't want this to go on too much longer.

You're never gonna believe this... *I* - Yours truly - broke down and bought a LIVE PINKIE for Niizh. I couldn't bear it if Niizh had to go away from me. I couldn't be without him.

I just told them what I wanted and went and hid. Never saw it. They put it in the bag and I never had to pick it out or anything. If I had, I couldn't have done it.

When home, I just opened the bag, turned my head away and let it fall into Niizh' deli cup. I then covered the deli cup with a cloth so I couldn't see it, brought it in here, put Niizh in it and put it back on his hot spot in the tank.

Yeah. I watched. Oh! It was so smalll and wee and trying to lift it's head... I was just beside myself. Niizh licked its butt, sniffed it's face, and buried UNDER it, lifting it up... And then lost interest.

I took Niizh out - he really wanted out - and put the cloth back on the deli cup so I couldn't see the poor thing and start bawling. I can't help it! I just love all animals and while my head tells me one thing, my heart breaks at the thought of death for any reason.

Before I went to bed, I put Niizh back in and recovered the deli cup with a cloth.

This AM Niizh was alone in the deli cup. Sleeping the sleep of a fat well fed Hoglette. Snoring to beat the band.

I got my kid fed and didn't have to see it.

I'm exhausted!