That's Not Punny!!!

[Charlet_2007]

I've seen ALOT of arguing on here so in attempted to get everyone to have a good laugh and relax abit I'm posting a new joke every day.. You all can join in if you have a good belly roller lol.. All i ask is please leave the arguing at the door this post is ment to be pure ol' fun.. Thanks.. just realized i um posted in wrong section lol you can move it if you want lol..

That's not punny....

1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery.

2. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

12. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

14. Without geometry, life is pointless.

15. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

16. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

18. What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

19. A backwards poet writes inverse.

20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

21. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.

26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.

27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.

30. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .

32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.

33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

[guidofatherof5]

Great. Just what I needed.

[adamanteus]

Very good, Natalie!

[reptile3]

Now that was FUNNY!!! Thanks Natalie, I sooooo needed it!!

[adamanteus]

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

'I must tell you all something..... We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'

'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.'

[Charlet_2007]

Lmao!!!!!!

[Garter_Gertie]

Wonderful idea! I may have to print Natalie's list and send it around here at work. I love plays on words!

[ssssnakeluvr]

LOL!!!! funny!!!!!!


Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary??? It runs in your jeans.....

[Charlet_2007]

lmao and EWWWWWWWW

[mtolypetsupply]

One day, a guy was sitting on his couch, and heard a knock at the door. He answered it, looked all around, nobody there. He heard a knock again, looked around, nobody. One more knock at the door, he looked around, and finally looked down. All he saw was a snail.

"Ewww" he said, and picked it up and threw it into the vacant lot across the street.

10 years later, the same guy is sitting on his couch, and hears a knock at the door. He answers, looks all around, nobody, so he looks down. There's that same snail. The snail looks up at him and says,

"What the **** was that all about????"