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  1. #1
    Old and wise snake
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    857
    Country: United States

    That's Not Punny!!!

    I've seen ALOT of arguing on here so in attempted to get everyone to have a good laugh and relax abit I'm posting a new joke every day.. You all can join in if you have a good belly roller lol.. All i ask is please leave the arguing at the door this post is ment to be pure ol' fun.. Thanks.. just realized i um posted in wrong section lol you can move it if you want lol..

    That's not punny....

    1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery.

    2. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

    3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

    4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

    5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

    6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

    7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

    9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

    10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

    11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

    12. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

    14. Without geometry, life is pointless.

    15. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    16. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

    17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

    18. What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

    19. A backwards poet writes inverse.

    20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    21. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

    22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

    24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.

    26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.

    27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

    29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.

    30. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

    31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .

    32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.

    33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
    Last edited by Charlet_2007; 11-20-2008 at 07:57 AM.
    Thanks, ~*Natalie*~



  2. #2
    T. radix Ranch guidofatherof5's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
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    C.B,Iowa(radixville)
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    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    Great. Just what I needed.

  3. #3
    Moderator adamanteus's Avatar
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    Feb 2007
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    Cheshire. (Near Manchester).
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    Country: United Kingdom

    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    Very good, Natalie!
    James.

  4. #4
    Reptile Lady reptile3's Avatar
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    Aug 2008
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    Northern Georgia
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    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    Now that was FUNNY!!! Thanks Natalie, I sooooo needed it!!
    Stephanie




  5. #5
    Moderator adamanteus's Avatar
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    Feb 2007
    Location
    Cheshire. (Near Manchester).
    Posts
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    Country: United Kingdom

    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

    'I must tell you all something..... We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'

    'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.'
    James.

  6. #6
    Old and wise snake
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    857
    Country: United States

    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    Lmao!!!!!!
    Thanks, ~*Natalie*~



  7. #7
    In Hog Heaven
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Saint Paul, MN
    Posts
    2,140
    Country: United States

    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    Wonderful idea! I may have to print Natalie's list and send it around here at work. I love plays on words!
    2.0 NY Eastern Garters; Peepers, Jeepers
    3.1 Western Hoggies; Kenabec, Niizh, Kokopelli, Anasazi
    3.0 Puget Garters; Kunikpok, Tungortok, 'Rockster
    1.0 Eastern Milk; Carmello

  8. #8
    Mr Thamnophis ssssnakeluvr's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Location
    Salt Lake City, Utah
    Posts
    4,637
    Country: United States

    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    LOL!!!! funny!!!!!!


    Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary??? It runs in your jeans.....

  9. #9
    Old and wise snake
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    857
    Country: United States

    Re: That's Not Punny!!!

    lmao and EWWWWWWWW
    Thanks, ~*Natalie*~



  10. #10
    "Third shed, A Success" mtolypetsupply's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toms River, NJ
    Posts
    493
    Country: United States

    My all time favorite Joke

    One day, a guy was sitting on his couch, and heard a knock at the door. He answered it, looked all around, nobody there. He heard a knock again, looked around, nobody. One more knock at the door, he looked around, and finally looked down. All he saw was a snail.

    "Ewww" he said, and picked it up and threw it into the vacant lot across the street.

    10 years later, the same guy is sitting on his couch, and hears a knock at the door. He answers, looks all around, nobody, so he looks down. There's that same snail. The snail looks up at him and says,

    "What the **** was that all about????"

    Stephi
    check out our new website at
    www.HerpEden.com

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