why we come here

[drache]

during the past year I have been spending a lot less time on the forum, primarily because of life's busyness
I've been dipping in, reading a few posts here and there, whereas I used to read every single one
because of my sparse attendance, I don't feel qualified to identify a trend, but I noticed a few things that bother me
I am aware that some other forums are primarily places where people can show themselves off, and there is certainly an aspect of this here - we all want others to compliment us on our wonderful animals, especially because neighbours and family may not be as enthused as we'd like them to be
there is an additional aspect to this forum though, and that's education
new members usually come for one of those two reasons - they are either already into garters, and now that they have found us, they can show off their critters and commune with like minds; or they just found a garter, ran over it with their lawn mower, or it turned up in their basement, and they want to know how to take care of it
then of course there is the hybrid scenario of the new member who's had garters for years, never gave them proper husbandry, and they came here because they can't figure out why their garter is suddenly having seizures
so this educational mission is in my mind an important part of this forum
I'd like to point out that there are a number of reasons why a person would not take care of their animals, and one of the possibilities is that their previous sources of information seemed trustworthy even if the info was wrong, and that they're not necessarily idiots
with that in mind, I think the forum could be a better educational resource, if we just welcomed newcomers and supplied them with correct info, rather than jumping down their throats for not being enlightened already
to model:
"most people's experience show that it's better to provide a temperature gradient, and you can do that by . . . ", rather than "you idiot! You fried your snake", or something like that
I do understand that we also get the occasional member who is a genuine donkey's butt who has immense experience and can tell us all that while he is not following any of what we would recommend, his garters have all been thriving for their full 5 year life spans
it is very tempting to bash that person, but I think we should first point out that that's not their full life expectancy, and that perhaps he or she could get them to live longer if they tried adjusting some of their set-up
when we bash a person, they may just go away, and we've lost every chance to give their garters a better life. So let's be kind to the people and hope that that kindness will trickle down to their animals, resulting in better care
maybe some of our members need their egos stroked a bit more than the average person - I just hope they're here for more than just that

[guidofatherof5]

So let's be kind to the people and hope that that kindness will trickle down to their animals, resulting in better care


Agreed.

Sometimes we have a conflict with the person but it's the welfare of their animals that we are most concerned with.

[aSnakeLovinBabe]

Good topic. Is there a certain thread or threads that provoked this?

[ssssnakeluvr]

very good!! thats why I don't post on here as much as I used to..... bit of drama on here and I get enough of that with 3 teenage grils living here... ;)

[drache]

Good topic. Is there a certain thread or threads that provoked this?
being that I am not here that much, it may just be accidental, but it's been close to half the threads I've looked into, and I also don't care to be specific, because I'd rather everybody be nicer than any one person feel accused
it feels so much better to have a resolve to copy what the kind people do because they seem to know how, than to feel like a dope because one's just not learned yet how to say things nicely
and btw - the use of words like "nice" and "kind" is making me feel like an old lady, so please don't make me go on about this

[RicMartin]

It's a great site. It took me a long while to feel comfortable to contribute, and now looks like I'm also slowing down. Yes, folk snapping at others' posts & trolling in general decreases this site's interest for me, but it's still a great site.

[Hornets23]

Great point youre making Rhea. I think a lot of people would agree with what youre saying. You dont sound like an old lady...what youre saying is makes sense..

[ConcinusMan]

very good!! thats why I don't post on here as much as I used to..... bit of drama on here and I get enough of that with 3 teenage grils living here... ;)

You see? there is again. I brought this up before. There are some "high quality people" with a lot of advanced knowledge and things to share that could really boost the quality of threads around here but they aren't participating much, if at all, anymore. I shouldn't have to repeat their reasons for not coming around much these days. Besides that, if I did repeat it, I'd have a bunch of people calling me an A-hole and jumping on me just for saying what nobody else seems to have the guts to say.

[Spankenstyne]

Things go in phases as well, every place has ups & downs and lulls in activity.

I do have to say that things are relative, this forum is still one of the friendliest and most drama-free forums I've ever been a member of. Sometimes people get caught up in stuff, usually due to feeling passionate about the subject matter, and need to step back a bit and think before hitting "post" but it's such a low percentage compared to anywhere else. It's also usually coming from a good place so people can agree to disagree and move on.
It's good to bring it to people's attention if it seems to be getting out of hand and the only way to rectify is to "do" and to act & respond in the way we would like to be treated and see others treated.

Act as if you're talking to the person face to face and usually there are few problems.

[snakehill]

I was recently attacked for comments that I had made on the other pets thread. I was totally taken aback by how nasty this person was! But I was not going to let this person attack me and not defend myself! Sometimes you have to be honest even if some people think you are not being nice!;)

[Mommy2many]

Well said, Rhea.

I can honestly say I came to this forum 2 years ago for educational purposes (actually having no idea there were "forums" like this out there). We had just found our girl "Stewie" and I wanted some updated information on how to care for her. You see, it had been over 35 years since I had taken care of a garter snake. Let me tell you, most of what I thought was proper, was not.

I was welcomed warmly, and supported in every way by advice from members for all of my questions(silly or not).

I have "met" many wonderful people from around the world through this forum and have made some very good friends, some I've met and some I have yet to meet personally.

I am ever so grateful that I stumbled upon this site and the people involved.

Keep up the great work!

[jitami]

...rather than "you idiot! You fried your snake", or something like that...

Very well said, Rhea.

As someone who has fried a garter I am so glad this was not the first thing I heard when I asked why Sly's scales were peeling up at the edges. Sigh. He was extremely active climbing the glass, too. Trying to escape, imagine that :o.

This forum was mentioned to me through another and by the time I got here I had had my first garter for several years and had the basics down, so it really wasn't for education. It was more of a fellowship, I guess. I joined in and actively participated here because of the family like atmosphere. I enjoy getting to know the other members a bit and of course love to learn, about pretty much anything, but that education is always a little more dear when it's about something you have a connection with.

I'm hoping to be able to be more active in the future and reconnect with the regulars I've lost track of as well as meet some new people :) Hopefully those who choose to stick around can treat others with the respect they would show a good friend or grandparent.

[katach]

I have to say I've been very happy here. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming. I am new to garter keeping and feel like I can ask anything and will get an answer without being made fun of for not knowing already. Thank you to everyone for all your wonderful advise and passion for garters!

[infernalis]

Good topic. Is there a certain thread or threads that provoked this?

See it too frequently to pinpoint, it's not just Thamnophis.com, it seems to be a forums trend.

[kibakiba]

Well, we are all humans... We're all different, we have different views, ways of reacting and ways of dealing with things. It's normal for someone to disagree with something, and depending on the person, they might ignore it, kindly disagree, or they may become angry. You cant blame a human for being a human. I see plenty of disagreements, fights and all of that. I come here because, despite disagreements that arise, there are many genuine people here. I enjoy helping people and I enjoy reading about peoples experiences. Even when there are disagreements, I cant keep myself away from the forum. Maybe I have too much time on my hands, but I enjoy the company of everyone here. I wish it could be the same for everyone else.

[d_virginiana]

Though there is the occasional jerk who is just plain mean, I've found this forum to be a very helpful place. There are a couple low-key 'arguments' I've been involved in on here, but 99.9% of the time the people who involved in those discussions continue to be very friendly and helpful afterwards and I know it's just because they are passionate about those issues and I can be the same way.

[aSnakeLovinBabe]

I agree that it seems to be quite a trend on forums these days. The fact is that the older a forum gets, the more people that visit that forum. The more people that visit, the more people you will get that simply have trouble communicating with others in a respectable manner and there will always be that handful that are just plain rude. When people are hiding behind a keyboard, they are totally different people than what we might have met if we had met them at a show. Since there is no obligation to speak to forum members in person, treating them like crap is no big deal to some people since it's only on the Internet. Some people also simply do not have the skills to communicate well via a keyboard, buy may be a wonderful person to chat with in person. Keeping that in mind I try not to judge even the snobbiest forum people, but it does get hard at times and when it comes to dealing with people I will be the first to admit that I simply do not always have the patience to tolerate ignorance... And that is a problem we will commonly see when we feel passionate about our hobby.

[drache]

a word about ignorance . . .
we all start out with it, and I for one keep bumping up against my own - often with a loud thud preceded by the brief conviction that I actually knew something
the ignorance can be remedied, and the bump is sort of a good thing - it's the conviction of rightness that makes it so damn painful
I know I may not look to learn about stuff I think I know, and I've forgotten to check multiple sources at times, and ended up with perfectly reasonable sounding info that turned out completely wrong

no - this is not a post about my personal shortcomings, although I'll freely admit I've got a few. I'm probably pretty average, and I'd like to apologize right now to the more experienced and more knowledgeable on this forum when I beg their indulgence with the ignorant and ask that they reserve their ire for the rude - ignorance is much more amenable to change, while rudeness often proves to be a terminal condition

[Stefan-A]

I don't have much to say anymore.

[RicMartin]

People who have attacked others in this forum are also posting in here about how they keep dead snakes in their fridge to throw at their neighbors. Stefan, I don't have much to say anymore either, what I think has all been said already.

[infernalis]

I don't have much to say anymore.


That's sad.. I always enjoyed reading what you have to say.

[RedSidedSPR]

Ditto :D I can read your stuff, and my eyes don't bleed!

[guidofatherof5]

That's sad.. I always enjoyed reading what you have to say.


Ditto :D I can read your stuff, and my eyes don't bleed!

Indeed, I see.:D

[Stefan-A]

Indeed, I see.:D
Yeah.

[drache]

I've always enjoyed what you've had to say, Stefan
did I miss something?

[aSnakeLovinBabe]

After almost 10k posts, he is almost out of gas : P

[RedSidedSPR]

You gotta break the record first!!!:D

[confused]

I don't post at or read my forum anymore. Last I looked we'd tripled in size from when I posted last too.

This forum is still the most useful snake forum on the web.

[ConcinusMan]

After almost 10k posts, he is almost out of gas : P

I'll send him some of my home cooked baked beans.:)

[RedSidedSPR]

Nice. :rolleyes:

[GaiusIuliusTabernarius]

Interesting thread, I'd say I'm a hybrid. For the most part you've all been wonderful. I appreciate all the assistance and I am very pleased by the results.

[PINJOHN]

I also have only been able to dip in and out of late and have come across the odd controversy, and found time to post on one, without being fully aware of the original contentious cause.
every thing that i would like to say about the site is covered by Chris [spankenstyn] and Le Ann with whom i agree wholeheartedly the only thing i can add is, that the fact that this debate is even taking place shows we are a healthy site, leagues ahead of any other.
as we show signs of being dis railed one of our sensible members chips in and puts us right back on track

[guidofatherof5]

Why,
Because this is a family. A family of people who enjoy/love garter snakes.
We gather support from and for each other. It's a place to express our feelings, share our triumps and defeats.
We ask for help, give and get advice. We get condolences in those terrible times and try to lift up those in need of it. We laugh and cry with each other.
If that's not family I don't know what is.
I have family all over the world because of these little unapreciated Garter snakes.;)

[kibakiba]

That is a great way of putting it, Steve. I agree with it also. And, what's a family without a couple rotten apples? Every family I know of has at least one. (mine happens to have many)
Really, though... I do love you guys and I'm extremely happy to have found a place that I fit in with, since a lot of my family (the rotten apples ;) ) consider me stupid for loving my little garter snakes.

[PINJOHN]

why,
because this is a family. A family of people who enjoy/love garter snakes.
we gather support from and for each other. It's a place to express our feelings, share our triumps and defeats.
we ask for help, give and get advice. We get condolences in those terrible times and try to lift up those in need of it. We laugh and cry with each other.
if that's not family i don't know what is.
i have family all over the world because of these little unapreciated garter snakes.;)

hear hear

[drache]

true - it's a lot like a family
both my husband and myself have a family member of questionable mental/emotional stability, so that's a much worse percentage than this forum in terms of numbers

[indigoman]

For someone who doesn't post much. Thank you Steve for saying what i feel!

[infernalis]

Why,
Because this is a family. A family of people who enjoy/love garter snakes.
We gather support from and for each other. It's a place to express our feelings, share our triumps and defeats.
We ask for help, give and get advice. We get condolences in those terrible times and try to lift up those in need of it. We laugh and cry with each other.
If that's not family I don't know what is.
I have family all over the world because of these little unapreciated Garter snakes.;)


This:D

[jitami]

Very nice Steve.... good way to think of it... a family with all of it's kooks & quirks & love :)

[d_virginiana]

Agreed :)

[stonyloam]

Rhea and I remember the "good old days", I joined a month after she did and there were about 300 members. The site sure has grown up since then. As the forum gets larger (much larger) you do feel a loss, it is less personal, and with the anonymity it does seem a little less cordial at times, but at my advanced age I try not to waste any time worrying about what the jerks have to say. As for Stefan (defiantly NOT a jerk) I am sure he will think of something LOL.:D