garter gathering

[PINJOHN]

dont own a camera, couldn't enter the contest so i threw this together
perhaps it might encourage some better efforts


at a garter snake convention,
all the snakes were sitting bored,
when all at once a radix voice,
piped up amongst the hoard,
I say we have a contest,
just to keep us all awake,
to decide which one amongst us,
is the most attractive snake,
as its my idea,
on this i will not budge,
i recommend that steve gilfillan,
is the arbitration judge,
silence hit the convention hall,
as all the snakes went mute,
steves judging was as welcome,
as a fart in a diving suit,
a checkered from the back spoke up,
its nature that ordains,
you radix just aren,t beautiful,
it why your known as plains,
and then a tetrataenia asked,
speaking with a hiss,
can there be another skin,
as colour full as this,
at over thirty seven inches,
we,d not be classed a runt,
and our blue and orange racing stripes,
put us far far out in front,
the san frans boast was halted,
as a butlers took the floor,
its a waste of time you entering,
i really must demure,
the reasons for objection are simple and succinct,
before the contests over your sure to be extinct,
and then spoke up sirtalis,
I should really take the prize,
if only for my thick dark bands,
and matching large black eyes,
dont make me laugh concinnus said,
or my sides begin to ache,
take one look in the mirror pal,
your such a common snake,
Hark at you sirtalis spat back,
your quick with taunts and mocks,
with those large red spots all over you,
have you caught the chicken pox,
so thick and fast the insults flew,
as the species made their case,
as to just who was the prettiest,
in all the serpent race,
dont offer your opinion,
if you do you,ll get no thanks,
it was vanity that caused the split,
in the proud thamnphis ranks:)

[guidofatherof5]

Now that was a nice read.
Thanks for taking the time to compose it.

[gregmonsta]

Loved every line of that ;)

[Mix]

Love it! :D

[aSnakeLovinBabe]

"the reasons for objection are simple and succinct,
before the contests over your sure to be extinct"



lol!!!!!!

[Mommy2many]

Maybe vanity, the sirtalis states,
That splits our ranks among the snakes,
But Easterns are the best by far
For their colours are of you all
Their demeanors are sweet and fair
Their hardiness cannot compare
If I should want a snake to love
Thamnophis sirtalis sirtalis, there’s none above

[Odie]

Ordinoides don't even try
Your so ordinary Lewis & Clark
saw this on the fly :eek:

[EasternGirl]

Pinjon...that was amazing! Very witty and well written. I really enjoyed ready that.

[PINJOHN]

thank you for your comments
that you took the time was great
but only two replied in verse
a dam, poor return rate
to give you more encouragement
iv penned another rhyme
and you can do it too, you know
if you just give, it some time
when you read my contribution
full of verse and rhyme and pun
its not meant to offend you know
its just a bit of fun.




two very large constrictors
were in the public view
as they lay talking, side by side
in a cold Alaska zoo
said the boa to the python
while we both lay here, at rest
lets slake this bloody tedium
with a biggest prey contest
i,ll start off the python said
from my days spent in the wild
i once ate, a pangolin,
his wife, and then his child
thats nothing scoffed the boa, to him
of story's iv no lack,
i once caught an aardvark, so
that ant bear wont be back
fuming at the boa,s retort
the python up his game
this boa, he is a wily snake
i,ll beat him just the same
that time i caught an antelope
while hunting in the Congo
he went down like an oyster
there's nothing tastes like bongo
said the boa thats small potatoes
on the list of things iv eaten
when i tell you of my next big meal
you,l see iv got you beaten
i once grabbed a donkey
when i saw him try to pass
i swallowed him entirely
from his nose down to his ***
the taste of that poor equine
still makes my taste buds drool
i,d like to have that meal again
a pony or a mule

the boids continued arguing
with exaggeration rife
there would have to be a winner soon
to avert the looming strife
then the python took his best shot
and he chuckled with a hiss
i,ll tell my tallest story
there's no way he,ll beat this
the time i grabbed a rhino he led a merry dance
but i got my coils around him
he knew he stood no chance

so down he went ,on passed my tum
and his horn it came to rest
sticking out from my lower parts
the ladies were impressed

so the boa he threw his hands up
metaphoric le of course
there's no way i can live with that
your an eating tour de force

i have just one question for you
if you,ll , just share with me
is there any upper limit to your, jaw capacity

yes my stretchy skin has a breaking point
and the answer leaves me flat
when they shout palin for president

even i Cant swallow THAT

[guidofatherof5]

I would like to respond to astound,
but feel so dumbfound.
The words are to arduous,
for this one who is brainless.
I shall bow out to those with talent,
and go feed my vagrant.(I couldn't make vagrans work:D)

[PINJOHN]

a valiant attempt steve keep up the practise :)

[guidofatherof5]

a valiant attempt steve keep up the practise :)

Not at this time, I've got snakes to feed.;)

[PINJOHN]

hey steve here,s one inspired by your many observations of your rascally radix .
see if you recognise any garter traits.



i can see my keeper coming
for the moment i,ll stay hid
i,ll wait till he,s distracted
then make my, escape bid
then its out in to the big, wide world
there,s such a lot see
there,s woods and ponds and hills and plains
just waiting there for me
and, when i gain my freedom
there,s nothing i will lack
for i will lead, a gypsy's life
you can bet i wont, look back
WAIT, what's my keeper brought us
in that bright red, feeding dish
it smells to me like pinky parts
with worms, and bits of fish
OH dam my lack of willpower
when i get that gorgeous reek
i shall put my plans on hold for now
and i,ll run away next week :)

[guidofatherof5]

Yes, that sounds like many of my radixes.
Escapees usually come out at feeding time and come over right to me.
No willpower at all.:D

[Stefan-A]

Merged your threads, hope you don't mind.

[PINJOHN]

Merged your threads, hope you don't mind.

no problem, not good with computers, need all the help i can get
thanks:)

[Mommy2many]

Our friend Pinjohn has penned some rhymes
His talent is unbeatable
He has offered if we have the time
To contribute something comparable
Snakes are what it’s all about
Their lives, their care, their colorings
We love them all, there is no doubt
Regardless of their origins
The big, the small, said our friend Steve,
Radix, Sirtalis and Dekayi , if you please…
I’ll house them all for I have room
Cause you see, T. Radix Ranch has had a boom
We have expanded, near and far
We’ve even opened up our neighbor’s car!
My ladies, they are quite fair
They’ve caught all my males within their lairs
Pinkies, fish and worms abound
We’ve got the greatest buffet in town!
Should a snake in need come to my home
Just remember, he’s not alone!

[guidofatherof5]

Most excellent.;)

[ConcinusMan]

Awesome!

[PINJOHN]

Superb le ann i really enjoyed your ode i was hoping some one would pick up the gauntlet and you did, in fine style
hoping to get a camera for my birthday, and give some of the members a run for their money in the picture contest [but knowing my woeful abilities with any thing technical perhaps not] :d

[Mommy2many]

You'll have me there, as I only have my camera phone. Even if I had the best camera available, photography is not my proficiency. I enjoy the photos posted by others, as I don't have the eye or a still hand! (I would suck at surgery too):eek:

I do enjoy the prose and verse, however.

[gregmonsta]

Oh, flowing rhymes our John did spin,
to celebrate those slithering things,
whose genus, taxa much ingored,
leave fashionable keepers bored.

Much joy and laughter these rhymes did bring,
as John's passion put words into a spin,
blending of knowledge and observation,
to show our choice for elevation.

"Thamnophis" we cry, "are irreplacable!",
yet sometimes, sadly, unobtainable,
we scour the lands for these limited rations,
that wear skins of variety in an elegant fashion.

Those lovable faces and interesting quirks,
enchant and perplex (these just some of the perks),
and with mountains of passion the most willing seeker,
will always be the Thamnophis snake keeper.

:D

[PINJOHN]

my master plan is working, i am slowly getting the members to reveal their artistic sides which for so long they have struggled to keep hidden. LOL:)
that was a brilliant and well thought out offering greg BUT
we expect nothing less from the LAND of RABBIE BURNS
dont know how intentional it was, but your total enthusiasm for all things garter came right through your verse. the same was true of la ann her commitment to eastern,s is right there for all to see

[guidofatherof5]

my master plan is working, i am slowly getting the members to reveal their artistic sides which for so long they have struggled to keep hidden. LOL:)
that was a brilliant and well thought out offering greg BUT
we expect nothing less from the LAND of RABBIE BURNS
dont know how intentional it was, but your total enthusiasm for all things garter came right through your verse. the same was true of la ann her commitment to eastern,s is right there for all to see


I think I will wait on the sidelines and enjoy the talents of the other members.
I don't think I can assess the creativity section of my brain or maybe it's not there(old war injury:D)
I'm not fretting as I have other talents like..........well at least I can...... or if I have to I could........... never mind I have to go feed some snakes:D

[PINJOHN]

I think I will wait on the sidelines and enjoy the talents of the other members.
I don't think I can assess the creativity section of my brain or maybe it's not there(old war injury:D)
I'm not fretting as I have other talents like..........well at least I can...... or if I have to I could........... never mind I have to go feed some snakes:D

you have once again just shown us all, at least one of your talents, your irrepressible sense of humour, this post gave me a mental picture of you sitting at your computer trying desperately to think of some ability you might have, and failing miserably [absolutely priceless] i happened to be drinking coffee when reading it ,i nearly choked :)
dont ever change steve

[PINJOHN]

hey steve i forgot to ask for your address i will need to send the bill from) the guy who has to clean all the coffee out of my keyboard :):D

[guidofatherof5]

I don't believe I can be held liable for that damage as we all know that liquids are not to be comsumed around computers. Don't weeee.:rolleyes:

[ConcinusMan]

That's why I got a keyboard I can put through the dishwasher.:rolleyes:

[Hornets23]

Nice..this stuff is quite amusing

[Mommy2many]

A most excellent poem, Greg! Steve, we all do enjoy your sense of humor as John pointed out. The use of imagery, well, let's say you get the point across. (Evidence lies in the coffee in the keyboards across the world):D:cool:

This thread has been most enjoyable! I think we should keep it going!

[PINJOHN]

A most excellent poem, Greg! Steve, we all do enjoy your sense of humor as John pointed out. The use of imagery, well, let's say you get the point across. (Evidence lies in the coffee in the keyboards across the world):D:cool:

This thread has been most enjoyable! I think we should keep it going!

happy to oblige Le Ann
this one was the first garter rhyme i jotted down
it happened after i read an answer given by James [adamanteus] to a thread about a missing garter, the information was not only disturbing[ but new to me]
perhaps making light of the subject was my way of dealing with the unease it left me with.


hello i'm T. E vagrans
i'm a big snake you can see
there are some nasty, rumours
that they attach to me
they say I can't be trusted
and i have to say they're right
if you keep another snake with me
then your really not too bright
my other title is WANDERING
a most peculiar name
if you curious how i came by it
then listen I'll explain
my cannibalistic tendency's
dictate my constitution
it tends to make for problems
rather than solution
when the keeper gets another snake
as he thinks we'll get on well
the dumbo doesn't realise
he's rang the dinner bell
and when next day he checks us snakes
to view his latest one
he'll purse his lips and scratch his head
as he's WANDERING where its gone :D

[Mommy2many]

Another brilliant verse!

[Mommy2many]

Here goes another...

I sit here trying to put pen to paper
Actually it’s more like hand to keyboard
Pinjohn has created some lovely verse
I’ll try to see if I can do no worse
He spoke of Sirtalis, Radix and the rest
Stating serpents are by far the best
The Ranch is where they all would stay
That is, if serpents could have their way
The Food, The Bedding, The Ladies they plead
That is all we’ll ever need!
The Ranch is open to them all
I’m told it holds a banquet hall
Many of our slithering ones come from afar
And will never see that shining star
But do not fret and be not alarmed
There are many homes to be found
They come from New England, Mid West Plains and Pacific Northwest
They come from Texas, Canada and Key West
They are from England and Scotland and Germany too,
From Mexico, Africa and Kalamazoo
They are companions and teach us much
We think that sometimes they like our touch
We love, we care and have come to grieve
The love, they give, what we perceive
The science, biology tells us we’re mistaken
For granted that we’re being taken
A trick some say, to obtain food
They’ll do anything, you human fool
My snakes and I are quite receptive
They are not trying to be deceptive
We have a give and take kind of bond
Of which I've become very fond
To close this verse, on Garters I say
Keep your corns, any day!

[guidofatherof5]

All I can say is awesome.

[PINJOHN]

All I can say is awesome.
have to agree with steve so much effort put in to that and it paid off in spades

maybe just maybe Le Ann the two of us might surprise them all in some future photo competition, in spite of our technical inadequacy , but then again maybe not :D

[Mommy2many]

Thank you, All!
As for photos John, we'll have to work at that!

[PINJOHN]

Garter folk

they're very strange these garter folk
with a passion that's bizarre
they all live with garter snakes
which they get from near and far

they spend their lives in servitude
living at their snakes behest
feeding,breeding,mucking out
is there ever time to rest

and the members have strange handles
like drache jeff.b and benny
there's zooplan and there's bushsnake
and a chick called mommy2many

when a member has a problem
and he puts it on the net
it's a cert the answers coming
no one's been let down yet
and the answers come in dozens
no let me make that scores
the help is given freely
they don't wait for applause

they read the science papers
all that knowledge they ingest
they break it down to laymen's terms
and share with friend and guest
there's greg and steve and stefan A
amongst this helpful lot
you won't wait long for their advice
they're in there like a shot
there's a guy, called concinnus man
who really knows his biz
his advice is rich in detail
and he tells it like it is

lets not forget asnakelovinbabe
who's aid is not expensive
it's given free just like the rest
and her knowledge is extensive
her main love may be garters
but she wont avoid the task
any problems with your other snakes
she's the Babe to ask

I'm sorry if your names left out
don't take a fit of pique
if i tried to name the lot of you
I'd be sitting here all week
yes there very strange these garter folk
I've said so all along
but i cant think of a nicer group
to whom i could belong.

[guidofatherof5]

Awesome stuff. Again.;)

[gregmonsta]

:D very nice indeed!

[indigoman]

Thanks PINJOHN, I COULDN'T HAVE EXPRESSED ANY BETTER!

[ConcinusMan]

Awesome stuff people. Not only are you OK in my book because you love garter snakes, but jeez, you're talented too? :D

[Mommy2many]

John,

What can I say?
Another awesome verse from John...

The garters, they have brought us all
To gather near and from afar
We choose to raise, to feed and breed
These serpents for which we have a need

We discuss their actions and their ills
And in our children we've instilled
The love of serpents, hot and cold
The warnings of, they've all been told

To hold close and near; within your heart
To always keep, your active part
To stay the course, right or wrong
To keep our garters, always strong

This love we have
This need and ache
It's what bring us close
The Garter Snake


Threw this together...

[PINJOHN]

great stuff Le Ann i know when i have enjoyed a rhyme or poem because when im reading it i keep saying to my self i wish i had thought of that line or that expression and that is exactly what i was thinking while reading your new offering.
pass all the ironing and washing over to that daughter of yours and it will give you lots of time to send us much more verse ;)

[Mommy2many]

Thanks, John!

I really enjoy this thread, didn't know I had this stuff in there...
I always enjoy your verse, so I'm waiting on the next!

[PINJOHN]

while doodling this rhyme at home i reminded my wife that it was her turn to make the coffee,she flatly refused to take her turn so i warned her if she did not comply forthwith i would put her into my next poem in a non too complementary light, she said i wouldn't dare, read on see if she's right

no contest:eek:

when i started out in reptiles
i made a big mistake
I disregarded, research
into just which type of snake

i started with a kingsnake
in fact i purchased two
what a cracking start, i thought
on my private reptile zoo
the female never shied from food
and i watched her body swell
she wolfed down every rat i gave
and she !eeer! ate her mate as well

so next i bought a rat snake
and back she went with me
they said, that she was gentle
and i thought, i was home free
i placed her in her viv last march
and she headed, for her lair
i haven't seen her once, since then
do you think, that she's still there ?

i decided on a python then
hoping he would be the one
gentle slow, and well behaved
with burnished skin, that shone
with all these marvellous, attributes
it made him so attractive
but the down side,[and there's always one]
he wasn't very active
he would stir himself, just once a week
when he got his big fat rabbit
he would gulp it down, align his jaw
and sleep [as was his habit]
he would lay up in his corner
his body curled in loops
his only contribution
his huge black smelly poops
i couldn't hide, this odour
and so, it wasn't long
before my wife picked up on it
phew! such a pungent pong
and when, i heard her wailing voice
my courage, simply fled
"get that snake out, of my house"
"or you'll be gone instead"

the list was long,of snakes i tried
to long for me to tell
so just two more i will relate
with one, the snake from hell

the next one was a racer
he was nervous thin and fast
he wouldn't settle, in his viv
till he escaped' at last
absconding from my house, it seems
was chief amongst,his aims
he took off, as if in practise
for the next Olympic games

then last i tried a mamba
of the long and greeny type
when people said they're dangerous
i would disregard that hype
i got him home, and then at last
with doubts, i was assailed
his evil eye, fixed firm on me
my knees they, almost quailed
i pulled my self together
stood tall as i could be
after thirty years of marriage
there's not much frightens me
my partners, rough exterior
would make Attila run
my friends all call her pit bull
cos she bites big dogs for fun
her galloping alopecia
is hidden by her rash
there's times she'd look quite fetching
if it weren't for her moustache

its seldom you get certainties
as you travel through this life
but if the mamba, and my partner meet
get your money on the wife
the last few lines, i wrote were cruel
they were far from philanthropic
but i started out to talk of snakes
so I'll now get back on topic

when i walked in to, my reptile room
he'd escaped his flimsy cage
with his black eyes,he just stared at me
i could feel his hate and rage
so i took off like a cheetah
and the snake he followed fast
he chased me round, and round the house
my endurance couldn't last
his intention was to corner me
and there to deal me death
he pursued me like a psychopath
spaced out on crystal meth
when i ran into my garage
with my throat and lungs on fire
the mamba missed his lunge at me
but he got my cars front tyre
yes his teeth sank in, so very deep
and the air ran up each fang
then the mamba swelled up like a balloon
and exploded with a bang

there's a salutary warning here
and to pass it on I'm keen
you should only keep one kind of snake
you know which one I mean :rolleyes:

[Mommy2many]

Most excellent!

[gregmonsta]

Epic :D

[PINJOHN]

no taxi work today car broke down, its given me a little time to go through some threads and give them;) a little slant

the garter snake genome is complex
but anything goes it would seem
if melanistic X amel make coffee
what do you cross to get cream


said rhea i think on the whole
that my snake doesn't like rock an roll
when she picks up that sound
she just throws herself round
i will have to try country or soul




Is the maritime merely an eastern ?
was discussed by state big wigs and vets
If the big wigs ordain
they're exactly the same
then hundreds face losing their pets



a san fran was cruising the district
and finding a mate was his aim
he felt so bereft
as there's so few that's left
but he'd keep up his search
just the same


when a garter discovered my fish pond
it was filled with shubunkin and blenny
the result of his find was for me most unkind
when i looked i just couldn't find any


Im a two headed garter albino
in this world there are none quite the same
i'm growing and how
as i eat,twice the chow
but a headache means double the pain

[guidofatherof5]

Once again I must say awesome.;)

[Mommy2many]

Garter genomes are quite varied
Dissecting them makes one quite harried
We've put alot of thought
Into what we ought and ought not
Our decisions should make some of us wary

The sound of our music can please
To our snakes it may possibly peeve
Rock & Roll
Country or Soul
We need something that can appease

The question of Maritimes weighs heavy
Upon the minds of the many
To decide should they or not
An Eastern or what
That is what makes them the gravy

San Francisco snakes need mates
Someone to whom they associate
A Radix won't do
Nor a Western or two
Must be one who relates

Garters and fish go hand in hand
A pond or a puddle, whatever
The fish look the same
They're popular game
And it all is the same in the end

Albinos are rare, that we can say
Two headed are rarer even today
An appetite twice
Double the mice
Leaves us with much that we crave

Our forum holds many Old and Wise Snakes
Subadults, First Sheds and Welcomes it makes
Keep coming around
Advice is abound
And Friendship and Greetings are all that it takes

To state, we all love the serpent
The garter, of which we hold dear
Granites and Hypos
Pastels and Albinos
To our hearts, we hold them near

[guidofatherof5]

Please tell me all this work has copyrights attached. If not, it should.;)

[ConcinusMan]

Oh c'mon Steve. You know as well as I do that only this club of garter lovers can appreciate this fully and it's not like we would steal from each other. Anyone who matters would know.:rolleyes:

It would be like stealing the works of a member of your household and trying to sell it to another member of your household.:cool:

The fact that this work appeared here first is copyright enough if you ask me. In fact, it's even enough in the eyes of the law.

I hear what you're really trying to say though. It is that good.;)

[PINJOHN]

well done Le Ann that one came back so fast i'm positive you have taken the advice given and passed all the housework to the next generation.
i was thinking that perhaps we [the members] could try limericks next
every one i would think remembers at least one from their youth [probably a rude one] the formula is, five lines with the first second and fifth lines rhyming and the middle two with a different rhyming last word [but of course you already knew that].
the great thing about the limerick is it allows you to lampoon your family and friends with out any one getting offended
come on now everyone has at least one limerick in them GIVE IT A GO


SAID GREG SINCE I'VE LIVED HERE IN PERTH
OF SERPENTS THERES BEEN SUCH A DEARTH
I'M LEAVING TO DAY
FOR THE U. S. OF A
TO GO HERPING FOR ALL I AM WORTH :p

THERE WAS A SNAKE KEEPER NAMED STEVE
WHO HAD A NICE TRICK UP HIS SLEEVE
HE WOULD TREAT THEM SO NEAT
AT HIS RADIX RETREAT
THE SNAKES NEVER WANTED TO LEAVE :p

[PINJOHN]

Richard and Chantel i have been splitting my sides at your posts in concinnusman thread. shantel dont scratch your head you will get splinters :D
i have thrown this little limerick in honour of you both.

said Chantel to Richard today
i was so very shocked at your say
and to what you allude
was so terribly rude
but if strawberry flavored OK :rolleyes:

[ConcinusMan]

Oh jeez. Strawberry flavored. LOL!:p

[kibakiba]

Very clever, John. :D

[gregmonsta]

Our own liverpuddlian John,
Joined in on our Thamnophis fun,
We're now rhyming away,
With some lyrical play,
On this thread that our John had begun.

:D

[Mommy2many]

Very good of you all in your play
You took on what John had to say
You gave it a try
With a wink in your eye
And all we can say is Hooray!

Silly, I know...:D

[Mommy2many]

Now for a more naughty limerick...

I watch my snakes thru the glass
They think I'm a pain in the a$%
We all can agree
We like what we see
The what, you don't have to ask:eek:

[Mommy2many]

Chantel has snakes in her care
I'm sure she's pulling out hair
Mama has snakes in the making
And Snakey is mating
The more the happier there:D

[kibakiba]

Oh, I am pulling out my hair. ;) That is a very nice poem, Le Ann.

[PINJOHN]

ggreat stuff Le ann and greg but we are still not getting the numbers, come on everyone limericks are easily the simplest of poems you can deliberately miss spell, you can stretch your vowels, you can employ double negatives, anything goes with limericks.
a couple of new entrants in this months photo contest and more people voted in last months so we are headed in the right direction.
taxi work was slow this morning so here's a few more just to encourage you to make an effort.


a garter snake owned by young dave
had habits uncouth and deprave
with complete lack of class
he just released his gas
dave said garter you farter behave

there was a young girl from rangoon
just the sight of a snake make her swoon
and thats just for starters
when she saw my garters
she flew up the road like a loon

a boy from the bijou's named dork
claimed that rattlesnakes tasted like pork
the result of his say
means theres none left today
tell them garters are flavored like chalk

a nasty young woman names Sadie
did garter snake deals that were shady
the police were soon told
of san fran's she'd sold
now prison is housing this lady

an ignorant fellow called bill
met a garter snake out on the hill
he was filled with alarm
but the snake meant no harm
so why, tell me why, did he kill?

a kindly young driver named pete
saw a garter snake crossing the street
the boy held his nerve
took it into a swerve
so the snake is still living, how sweet

a garter snake keeper named Ed
was alarmed when he found one had fled
with his wifes paranoi'er
it was bound to annoy'er
and it did when it slept in her bed

that dipsy young lady Chantel
tried to rescue a snake from a well
the snake said you dope
i cant climb that rope
your bound to be blonde i can tell

there was a young fellow named Jake
with a stick he was poking a snake
the end of this farce
meant two fangs in his ar$e
that snake had took all he could take

there was a young lady from binder
didn't see a big python behind'er
the resultant attack
turned her into a snack
now they've looked and they've looked but cant find'er

a rattle snake lunged at young hilda
bit her twice in the bum an near killed 'er
but she died of the shame
with no venom to blame
it was sucked out by Richard the builder

said a garter to one of his dates
at sex you are up with the greats
but it has to be said
that my face is still red
since you dragged me past all of my mates

[Mommy2many]

There was a garter named Suzie from Perth
We're told she had a wide berth
She ate all Greg had
Which made him quite sad
And put a big hole in the earth.

John writes poems about snakes
Imagination is all that it takes
A word here and there
And you're poem will be fair
A book in the end it will make

Steve said I need to relate
A Radix is all that it takes
To make me quite fond
Of a permanent bond
Just between me and my snakes

Mustang says he has a Checker
Of what? Is what we should whether
Get the thought outta your head
It's my snake's name that he said
And not what you thought was improper

Babies are arriving soon
They'll be here, well before June
From sea to sea
It's amazing to me
Their arrival will have us over the moon

Our poems, they have me concerned
Our friends have not taken their turn
To think of a rhyme
To help pass the time
An ode to the snakes, it's been earned

Dekayi's are another kind
Of snakes that come to mind
They have quite cute faces
Are found in most places
Love slugs and things that have slime

[PINJOHN]

thats a great collection Le Ann, i can tell that you have discovered just how much fun it can be trying to make things rhyme in a limerick.
what i enjoy the most is that i am continually coming up with lines that fit perfectly but are rude or have a swear word in them and have to be jettisoned quickly. its not intentional they just leap out at you. this leads to me giggling away like a naughty schoolboy, perhaps thats the best thing about it, if it makes you feel younger it cant be doing you any harm.
by the way i really took a shine to your next to last limerick it gave me one of my [wish i'd written that] moments.
taxi business was better this morning so i only managed a few


a randy old garter from Leeds
as a protest refused all his feeds
till his owner should go
to the next reptile show
for a female,to meet all his needs


said an old, petshop, keeper named lee
my snakes are the cheapest you'll see
ten bucks for the garter
and thats just the starter
i'll throw in the cobra for free


an albino garter named Jock
thought protecting his skin was a crock
but being so vane
was to bring him much pain
going out, and not using,sunblock


a bad tempered keeper named bloom
kept venomous snakes in his room
during one of his rages
he smashed all their cages
then kept them at bay with a broom


as spring reached the garters down deep
there were hundreds amassed in a heap
said one whats the harm?
turn off that alarm
lets all get five minutes more sleep :D

[Mommy2many]

This is way too much fun. I too have thought up some naughty ones and have passed...except:

My Garter collection is spent
said Steve
Not sure what is meant
said We
You know said he
It was meant to be
With the ladies needing to pay rent, hehe:eek:

And then...

The Radix said there's a show
The Eastern's said, sure, we'll go!
All said it'd be nice
And then they thought twice
With our luck, it'll probably snow!

We snakes are all in the masses
But now, can't lay in the grasses
There's frost overhead
Up there, we'd be dead
So down here we'll save all our a$#'s

Spring is what is in store
With the sun, a wide open door
The snakies will date
And hopefully mate
It's what we all will long for

There once was a poet from Britain
Of snakes, we know he is smitten
He threw out a dare
For the forum to share
And now must keep track of what's written

Stefan said with a smile
I've been on this forum a while
A moderator I am
To monitor and stop spam
Just let me show you my style

Don know's his snakes more than many
Questions, are never ending
He know's his stuff
His words are not fluff
The answers he will be sending

[PINJOHN]

looks like they are leaving it up to us Le Ann if only the knew the laughs you have just trying to put them together. to use that tired old cliche its the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
unfortunately for me its nose to the grind stone now, that repair bill and resultant loss of work has to be paid for some how so its work and sleep for several days at least,hope every one has a good weekend
last few for a while

a snake once went out with a bear
and this lead to a torrid affair
the result of this pairing
gave genetics a stirring
we've now got king cobras, with fur


a fertile snake keeper named dell
noticed his wife start to swell
so dell just went wild
cos his wife was with child
and his girlfriend was gravid as well


a pair of Columbian boa
were given the invite by Noah
they said this is swell
can our friends come as well
they were told, more than two's, a no no'a


a lovely young garter named Matt
was murdered one day by a cat
but it all ended well
as the cat went to hell
the dog from next door saw to that

:rolleyes:

[PINJOHN]

Originally Posted by guidofatherof5
If you ever retire her Don. She's welcome to live on the Ranch.
I'm going to starting a retirement radix wing to the Ranch.
It's going to be called "Serpent Serenity" a radix retirement community.
Let me know what you think.
a radix retirement home what a concept i feel a rhyme coming on


Steve;s sunny ACHER'rs


In deepest darkest Iowa
where the deer no longer roam
they've come up with a great idea
an old thamnophis, home
so when your friend is past his best
and his lights begin to dim
then just pick up,your telephone
and quickly book him in
to get a room in this great place
they'll not be short of takers ______
in fact there'll be a scramble
for a place in sunny Ache'rs
when you send your friend by FedEx
and your eyes are filled with tears
let me, describe the place for you
just to allay your fears ______
the doors are wide and spacious
leading to a lounge_thats grand
there's a corridor, off to the left
with rooms on either hand

so lets look for an occupant
and try to get a sense
of what its like to make your home
in this garter residence
here's one now, and it must be said
he isn't looking great
if its not unkind for me to say
he's in a sorry state
with his poor old rheumy eyes, bloodshot
they've lost that vibrant gloss
his cheeks just hang below his chin
because of muscle loss
his skin appears to fall in folds
like a sack it seems to me
and he moves so slow,as if struck down
by a dreadful lethargy
my overall opinion, in life's glass
he's reached the dregs
your forced to the conclusion
he's way, passed, his last legs

if your thinking it's a radix
or perhaps a Florida blue
then you'd be wrong, cos that was Steve
i'v just described to you.


_LEGAL DISCLAIMER
I hope i'v_not upset you Steve
it's a fact thats so well known
your youthful and your healthy
with teeth that's all your own
with hair like Tony Curtis
but i hope you stay amused
cos i might just mean Yul Brynner
i get those two confused__:p:D

[guidofatherof5]

I love it and resemble that remark on occasion.:D

[RicMartin]

The Big Red Radix in the sky
Heard humans, and their Steve satire
The rhyme was good, if shy,
The words, fun, alight with epic fire,
So She decided to respond in kind
Attacking the keyboard with Her behind
This haiku She wrote:

Sha-She-Shi-Sho-Shoo!

Shpring shingsh and shprangsh for Shteve'sh Ranch

Sha-She-Shi-Sho- Shoo!

[RicMartin]

Couldn't help it. Your posts made my day, again. Steve, you are the very best sport, and this site is just plain full of good eggs. Thank you all.
Ric

[guidofatherof5]

Couldn't help it. Your posts made my day, again. Steve, you are the very best sport, and this site is just plain full of good eggs. Thank you all.
Ric

What's with the egg crack:D
Leave my hair out of this. Wait, I don't have any.:D

[Mommy2many]

On the horizon appears another lyricist
A Haiku he wrote for the Thamnophis
The verse was inspiring
More words we're desiring
We're in need of another balladist

We've heard of Steve's ranch for the snakes
A great deal of care that he takes
He makes them content
With the money he's spent
A perfect snake home it does make

Some ask why do we care
Our lives with Garters to share
It's said a corn is more colourful
A boa more snuggable
We reply our Garter's are rare

We've had babies recently awakening
Their first breaths are what they are taking
The Mom's have done well
With their young they've fulfilled
Every wish the breeders have been making

PinJohn has comprised another villanelle
The words of a lyrist, we can tell
He cares about snakes
And the verse that he makes
Keeps us wanting more rhymes we revel

It's time now for yet another
To finally, his art to uncover
The subject is clear
Our garters held dear
A poet laurette to discover

I throw down the gauntlet at last
To all a prose unsurpassed
The challange you dare
our rhymes to compare
Let's see who is best at the task!

Let's play...:D

[guidofatherof5]

Thamnophis word smack down:D
Let it begin! Let it begin!
I eagerly await on the sidelines.
A spectator I am.:)

[Mommy2many]

A tham smackdown on the forum
It's with words that it'll be won
Bring it, said Steve
A throwdown is in need
To see whose poems which will triumph:rolleyes:

[ConcinusMan]

What's with the egg crack:D
Leave my hair out of this. Wait, I don't have any.:D

I was thinking that the "crack" was on the other end.:p

[PINJOHN]

a lusty redsided named Len
joined the frenzy outside of his den
through the suitors he burst
wooed the female there first
so now "WHO'S THE DADDY" again


that unlucky young lady named Budd
was felled by a snake in the wood
it wasn't the might
of the cottonmouth bite
but the venom it pumped in her blood


said the sunbathing checkered to the lizard
catching these rays is just wizard
but you can count it a cert
if we dont stay alert
we end up in the roadrunners gizzard



a virtuous young maiden named frost
while herping in the jungle,got lost
who should she meet?
but a gorilla on heat
he released her [ but don't ask the cost]





garter folk, pats and bats

Le Ann loves her eastern s its true
and their numbers are more than a few
to add to the swell there's five kids as well
but she loves being MUM 2 this crew

OF Richard it has to be said
on toes he'll occasionally tread
while some will just laugh
at each outspoken gaff
there;s others that really see red


thought Greg have i got what it takes ?
as a DON i'm no really, great shakes
as if counting sheep
my students just sleep
cos my lectures are all about snakes



her logic is clear as a bell
her science is brilliant as well
her relative theory
makes Einsteins look dreary
of whom do we speak, yes chantel


there's a fellow who's called stefan-A
he works hard on our sight everyday
to meet would be grand
we could all shake his hand
but Finland's just so far away


His advice, we just cant get enough
Alas writing in English is tough
but when it, comes to snakes
Udo makes no mistakes
cos with garters this man knows his stuff




that Don's a snake-man to the core
and he studies his Mendel's first law
though somewhat expensive
his morphs are extensive
he'll be first to breed 'tartans' i'm sure


a retired old law dog will be
full of smart tricks, you will see
should a snake hit the road
Steve avoids panic mode
he just puts out a quick, A.P.B :p:rolleyes:

[guidofatherof5]

Classic. Nice job.

To the competition "You've been served":D

[PINJOHN]

they caught the little cobra when i was half through his rhyme, so i abandoned the idea, but i had some time this morning so did a bit of a rush job on the finish

LITTLE Naja
i was fed up wit dat stupid zoo
so i took it on the lam
dey wont be chasin me too hard
my gats both pack a wham
i sneaked right passed dem dozy guards
no brains between the lot
its off to nu york city now
to see what that bergs got
i'll have a really good day out
and still avoid the law
while, they all look in bushes
i'll just take a taxi tour
i think dis local cabbie
is the perfect one to use
i'll make da bum an offer
and its one he can't refuse
i don't think it will rain today
but just in case it should
that angle's nicely covered
i got a built in hood
its off to see Manhattan
and i'll take in every site
if my luck holds up you never know
i might just get a bite
we headed for the Bowery
where i heard they're on the skids
i wanna get a photo
of dem famous dead end kids
we reached dat second avenue
its then i got a shock
da place was oozin opulence
im such a bloody schlock
i wana see sum culture
so now i thinks the time
hey driver throw a right on fifth
we'll hit the guggenheim

geeze what a place have we got here
the wall and floors are sloping
if you push me then i will admit
its less than i was hoping
there's feathers here of such a size
you'll have to take my word
i'm outer here theres just no way
i wanna meet dat ! bird
we were drivin fast down Madison
when i made him hit the brakes
cos i thought i saw st Patrick's
and dat guy, dont like snakes
now the empire state i'll give a miss
cos unless i got it wrong
der's another creature on the loose
i think his name is Kong

do'in all dis stuff alone
i'm gettin kinda bored
if id'a only stopped to think
i shoulda fetched a broad
so to the Bronx i will return
there's a crew i'd like to see
much more than just acquaintance's
yes more like family
if your in a crew wit de's boys
it can make your life so easy
you may of heard of my good friends
it's a family called Lucchese
should, you ever meet de's guys
just give dem your best wishes
show dem any disrespect
your sleepin with de fishes

about four days i'll chew the fat
and hang out with the Don
then its back to the old Bronx zoo
they wont know i'v been gone.

[BLUESIRTALIS]

Great poems!

[guidofatherof5]

Great poems!

I second that;)

[Mommy2many]

Awesome poem about the cobra from New York...


Thr Bronx Zoo is what I call home
From there is where I shall roam
A trip thru the city
No money, what a pity
Perhaps I will use pheremones

A facebook account I now have
A twitter account has my back
I post on them hourly
The news was made daily
But now they've all been removed:(

The Lady in the Harbour I visited
To a pizza place I have slithered
Apartments I've seen
There's none that I'm keen
I'm a snake with standards it seems

They all looked for me in the city
I'm sure I've kept them quite busy
In my home I'm secure
Within my lair, I am sure
They've got themselves all in a tizzy

My home is the zoo, quite a space
Where humans and the like will escape
I am quite, so to speak, well cared for
And my home is larger than yours
So the Bronx is where it takes place!

[PINJOHN]

great stuff Le Ann, I only knew about this little hooded Houdini through Richards reports in one of the threads, us being a snake forum i thought it might have stir d more interest, hopefully someone will report it when he gets his new name :)

[PINJOHN]

After reading all the material you pointed me to Steve i was even more horrified if thats possible. really don't want to be preachey but it is time people said no to rattlesnake roundups.
i have put the following verse together which i hope gets the point over but without hectoring anybody[any body that is except the morons who run these occasions]

NO TO RATTLESNAKE ROUNDUPS

We mourn the passenger pigeon
now that it no longer flies
blasted in their millions
from those sunny cloudless skies
no voice to stop their slaughter
or avert their final fate
but we all bemoan their passing
yes now that its to late
so too the mighty buffalo
in his countless numbers teemed
the monarch of the prairie lands
or at least thats how it seemed
they shot him down and took his hide
then shipped them all back east
with scant consideration
to the future of the beast
at last,they stopped the killing
when their blood lust was all done
bones of countless bison
were left bleaching in the sun
the story's really much the same
for the great white egret bird
ravaged by mans cruelty
it's a fate it also shared
they were blasted to oblivion
as on their nests they sat
killed for just one feather
to adorn a lady's hat.

you may smile at the absurdity
of my bombastic blast
thinking "those things are irrelevant
it happened in the past
the modern world has now moved on
with every western nation
pledged, to protect its fauna
with the watchword CONSERVATION"
friends, if i make this promise
from my rantings to desist
explain, why rattlesnake roundups
are allowed to still exist
in the name of entertainment
they commit the vilest acts
spouting pseudoscience
and presenting it as facts
they'll take a western diamondback
and then affect a change
they turn him into trinkets
of a wide and varied range
they offer you some cowboy boots
a wallet or a belt
made, i am afraid to say
from this poor creatures pelt
just what kind of people
attend this nightmare zoo
it's bad enough they come themselves
but they bring their children too
these parents would revile me
would consider me a louse
suggesting that their next fun day
is the local slaughter house
but for me theres little difference
if any parent should
show their kids its fun to laugh
at some poor creatures blood.

and to all those western rednecks
if they'll take advice from me
we much prefer our snake skin
alive and roaming free

[guidofatherof5]

Very nice.

[BLUESIRTALIS]

That's a nice poem!

[PINJOHN]

when bin laden sat down to his breakfast
he should really have eaten it fast
for that knock on the door was Obama
now justice has caught up at last.


to paradise went osma bin laden
after losing his ten year, chase
he hoped to meet his, forty virgins
but the gate was shut hard in his face.

[Mommy2many]

I think you nailed it.

[Didymus20X6]

I would like to respond to astound,
but feel so dumbfound.
The words are to arduous,
for this one who is brainless.
I shall bow out to those with talent,
and go feed my vagrant.(I couldn't make vagrans work:D)

You know what would be a good name for a vagrans? Charlie Chaplain.

[PINJOHN]

You know what would be a good name for a vagrans? Charlie Chaplain.

yep but it still wont rhyme with talent :D

[PINJOHN]

A FEW THOUGHTS TO HELP US OVER THE COMING SEASON,

brumation

days grow short with suns lost zest
and land prepares for snowy vest
it's then our friends will take their rest
the garter folk lament
no shining light to chase the gloom
where dark and dismal shadows loom
and silence clouds my reptile room
the garter folk lament
now annual tasks will call my hand
with some jobs vital, others bland
while i wish for spring,to warm the land
the garter folk lament
and as we wait, for summer cheer
our friends imagined,with us here
hoping through the glass,their faces peer
the garter folk lament
while winter crawls, its somnolent tread
our yearning screams,with patience dead
and we hunger for the days ahead
the garter folk lament
then at the height of our doleful leaning
our friends awake, their vigour streaming
to give back our lives, its point and meaning
the garter folk lament
such joy to hear the birds in song
our snakes returned so fit and strong
our lives to share all summer long
NO MORE GARTER FOLK LAMENT

[Char361979]

Marvelous. I tried to come up with something on behalf of Binky exhalting the virtues of the albino checkered but could not think of a decent verse. Pinjohn, you are the official Garter sanke poet laurette!

[guidofatherof5]

Awesome as always John. Thanks for sharing with us.

[PINJOHN]

Marvelous. I tried to come up with something on behalf of Binky exhalting the virtues of the albino checkered but could not think of a decent verse.
perhaps not quite what you had in mind :D

that Chris loves a drink
as all wee know
and while out on the town
hit the vino
Char was livid of course
so to show his remorse
he bought her a checkered albino.

[Char361979]

Fabulous! It was more of a case of "if you're having the darned fish, I want a snake" but I can imagine that actually happening. Genius!

[Mommy2many]

With autumn clearly within our sights
Our days are shorter than our nights
Our garters ready to acclimate,
as Mother Nature vacillates
between rain and snow
temps high and low
the slumber season to commence
the growing season in desitance

Our worries grow
with each new snow
of serpents on their own
those without a home
we hope they’ve found
friends underground
with which to share
some warmer air

Spring will herald
many new perils
but new beginnings will start
new hope from the heart
more squiggles to see
more snakes to set free
the new generation
nature’s propagation

So let’s keep our thoughts light
as day turns toward night
that our serpents will well fare
with Nature’s good care
let’s hope they’ve done well
and remain in the swell
of the snakes who now accommodate
the burrow in which they hibernate

When the days grow longer
And the sun stays stronger
Our friends will emerge
With a new kind of urge
We’ll all start to smile
New life which is vital
Our hope is stimulated
Just as the future is rejuvenated

[guidofatherof5]

That was awesome Le Ann.

[Mommy2many]

Thank you. It's been a while and got me to think of other things :)

[katach]

That was fantastic! Thank you.

[PINJOHN]

Thank you. It's been a while and got me to think of other things :)

Hi Le Ann you have just added another reason for writing verse !distraction! loved the rhyme so i hope you get distracted a whole lot more :)

[Mommy2many]

As always, I bow to your verse. Great job and I look forward to reading more!

[PINJOHN]

thanks Le Ann and yes i have another one in the wings it was prompted by a post about your first or special snake which i suppose most of us have memories of, tucked away in that special place,
because of the form of dyslexia with which i am smitten, things that are done in a sequential manner such as using computers, mobile phones, and such, make me really struggle, even what you might consider basic's like copying and pasting are at times a challenge to me, so when i find one of the kids at home and beg them to give that old pest called dad a few moments of their very precious time i will put it up

[Mommy2many]

I look forward to reading it. I understand that things this special take time. Sometimes that time is hard to come by. Can't wait!

[RedSidedSPR]

Those are awesome both of them. Loved 'em.

[PINJOHN]

Way back in the early sixty's what was known as the second British invasion of America was taking place, led by four boys from my home town JOHN PAUL GEORGE AND RINGO and i had just became a teenager but what perhaps is of more interest to this forum is that America was carrying out a counter invasion.
British pet shops were beginning to obtain garter snakes, a creature exotic [to us] but little known, buying one of these snakes was a chancy undertaking, bringing your snake through hale and healthy was a matter of trial and error,advice from pet shop owners was at best inaccurate at worse lethal for the snake, garter books or manuals did not exist,the sasquatch was easier to locate than a local expert, no such thing as a specialized range of products for reptile keepers, reptile shows were still generations away, and most shocking of all no internet with its instant access to a garter site full of approachable people ready to help you through your latest garter crisis.
Keeping reptiles and amphibians at this time was for most of us done in isolation with few opportunity's to meet like minded souls, other than perhaps an accidental meeting in the pet shop, you could live within a short distance of a fellow enthusiast with even more hard won knowledge than yourself and never even know.
The other problem for snake/rep keepers at this time was the complete bewilderment of friends family and the general public as to why you would want to keep such" strange weird and surely dangerous creatures",i learned to explain that i found them "interesting" and while people accepted this as my answer they could never grasp WHY i found them interesting.
One fact that i kept strictly to my self,it's revelation at that time would perhaps have brought down on me dire consequence's, a visit from the men in white coats, a private hotel room with padded walls, a daily libation of the velvet cosh, and a set of pajama's with sleeves that fasten around the back,
I have after all these years decided to share my secret on the strict understanding that it stays within the four walls of this forum .
the "interest" that i had in my snakes was only part of the truth ,i actually held them in great affection, [SHOCK HORROR] when i look back over the years and relive the happy times spent with long gone friends"Duke my German shepherd Sam my Irish wolfhound and Archie my Airedale terrier i find my self also remembering some special garters all gone now but never to be forgotten Amazingly one of those special snakes was the first garter i ever owned.
His story is told below.

NUMBER ONE


It's an eastern that enchanted me right from the very start
my first sight in that pet shop
and the snake had won my heart
A stranger to my country
from his land the USA
collected with his brethren
and sent so far away
the smallest one among'st the bunch
but he didn't try to hide
a hint perhaps of vanity
for the stripes that cloaked his side
with an overdose of brashness
eye to eye he just stared back
when it came to tugging heart strings
this guy he had the knack
there was no way i could leave him there
i had fallen for that snake
and for me to be his owner
just three shillings it would take
the shop agreed to hold him there
until i should return
i knew little of the garter ways
but determined i would learn
he would need a spacious residence

when to my home he came
a meter long aquarium
would be his new domain
I cleaned it up and made it safe
newspaper as a base
i then rushed back to purchase him
my first of all his race
the seller gave advice to me
which was somewhat off the wall
saying spiders bugs and insects too
you'll find he eats them all
the serpent over several months
he would teach me such a lot
like just what foods he'd Deign to eat
and those foods he would not
so many things i offered him
he found not to his taste
what i needed, were he not to starve
was an answer, found with haste
at last we made agreement
when i one day filled his dish
with the contents of a cat food tin
containing chunks of fish
from that day on he grew apace
with his diet problems beat
and he thrived upon his new regime
with earthworms as a treat
he would watch me through his glassy wall
he was nosy to a fault
when i saw him staring hard at me
all other tasks would halt
as if he were a magnet
no chances would be missed
i would lavish my attention
i'd no power to resist
when it came to trips and visits
and to other friends i'd roam
he seldom left my thoughts for long
he's the reason i rushed home
such grew my fascination
i'll explain it if i can
i'd never had a better friend
be it animal or man
looking back i now can realize
that he gently led me in
to a life of love and reverence
for his thamnophis kin
in those six short years he spent with me
one regret i'v settled on
i never gave that snake a name
HE WAS SIMPLY NUMBER ONE




































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[guidofatherof5]

A very good read John. Thanks for posting it.

[Mommy2many]

Aaaww... John, I think we all can relate

One of the first friends that I had
Came not from school but from the land
I found him under a rock one spring
He needed warmth, this little thing

I kept him in my hand all day
My diligence to his care did not sway
He wrapped around my small hand and raised
His head and body to all the praise

A defender of his lady true
My snake, his future I not knew
A short stay would be with me and mine
My snake would seek another kind

An Eastern he was, I'm sure of this
A beautiful brown and yellow thamnophis
A yearling he must have been as I recall
Escape me now, the memories all

A short time was spent; he with me
I dreamt of all the adventures yet to be
They were not to come, for his time
Was not to be as long as mine

He taught me though; in that short span
Of love that's shared within my hand
I care not what the experts know
From my first snake; my love did grow

[PINJOHN]

loved it Le Ann, after reading it i was struck by an odd thought, there must be i suppose lots of people who would find writing a poem about your first or special pet a bit strange, when you take into account that the special pet is a snake,then the numbers of those people would increase dramatically.
luckily for us we are on a site where we are surrounded by like thinking friends who understand completely where we are coming from and have their own memories of those never to be forgotten pets, and who knows its just possible that one or two of them might make an attempt at a little verse in honor of that very special one. ;)

[chris-uk]

There once was a cat called Mort
Who bit and scratched Chris for sport
But one day he did see
That if he wanted to eat
To stop biting the feeding hand was import'

Mortimer is a special cat now, but when I inherited him with Char, he was a right little !£$$£@"#.

[PINJOHN]

great limerick Chris you put some work in to that but was well worth it, as now Mort the maniac moggy is now immortalized :D

[chris-uk]

great limerick Chris you put some work in to that but was well worth it, as now Mort the maniac moggy is now immortalized :D
There's a bit of poetic license in it to get it to fit the rhyming pattern. Char will be impressed that I thought enough about the mogg to turn to poetry...

[Mommy2many]

Awesome limerick, Chris!