My first care sheet page, opinions please?

[infernalis]

Please look at it, and I accept all criticism or praise equally.

Before I put up links all over the net, I wanted to hear the opinions of the folks here.

I hope it looks reasonably professional, and accurate, as well as something that someone would want to read.

Thanks....

Cyclophiops Major Care Sheet (http://www.danceswithreptiles.com/cyclophiops.html)

[Stefan-A]

It looks a bit messy. :) I'd use a different colour for the background, the green is a bit too bright and distracting. I'd use the same text colour for the entire text and only bold the really important parts. I'd add a couple of headings to keep it organized and I'd reduce the number of paragraphs.

I also wouldn't refer to the snake by name and I'd rather keep personal experiences and experiences with a particular individual well separated from the rest of the text.

I don't think it's necessary to mention that thing about the enclosure not having to look like yours, it could be replaced by general advice on what the snake requires. I assume it's arboreal? It's enough to mention the need for climbing opportunities. Also, musking and pooing aren't the same thing.

Just a couple of things I would do differently. ;)

[ScimitarX]

Looks good:)

[jitami]

Wayne, I hope you really wanted help and advice. I hate doing this sort of stuff because you never know how the other person is going to take it. I found a few grammatical/spelling type errors and some sentence issues. There are a few more syntax type issues, but they come across ok. I highlighted the issues I thought should be changed in bold purple below. Overall, great job! Either way, I think it is an excellent starting place for anyone who should find themselves with these lovely snakes! It is understandable and that's really all that matters. btw, at the last minute I decided to send this privately, but I can't cut and paste the text below with the changes and would have to start over... so here goes..

Copied, pasted, changes made in purple...

This species is heavily arboreal, they like to climb trees. They are also somewhat terrestrial, meaning they do like to crawl on the ground some too. But their preference is always up in that tree, and if you wish to maintain a healthy, happy example of this magnificent snake, your cage must be tall, upright and include at least one tree.

Giant Asian Green snakes are diurnal, or a day snake, active while it is light, and sleep when it is dark. Your cage should be in a room with low traffic & the ability to maintain a 14 on / 10 hour off light cycle.



The inside of your cage should have some substrate at the bottom. We use a mixture of coconut fiber and reptile bark. This provides a soft loamy bottom that will hold moisture well, and absorb odor. (Newspaper, aspen, carefresh or corn cob is not recommended, it will be damp in this cage.)



Temperatures should be around 75 at night, and 80-85/90 during the day. Keep it humid inside by spraying a misting bottle on the plants once a day.



A fresh bowl of cool water must be left on the floor of the cage at all times, your new friend will reach majestically down from it's perch in the tree, and sip from the bowl with the grace of a swan!



Our specimen has readily accepted night crawlers as food, and refused all other offerings, This is not such a bad thing, night crawlers are full of protein! Just lacking calcium, so we use a calcium supplement powder found at any pet store, and roll a worm in it once per week.



Sometimes he likes the worm to be offered to him by hand, just dangle it in front of him, other times he prefers to grab them up off the floor of his cage. Do not believe the dealer if they tell you this snake will eat pinky mice or fish, it is a lie. - I would leave this bit out.



Ours will readily eat 3-5 worms each day in the morning, and will then spend the rest of the day climbing and perched in his tree.



This species is of a very mild temperament. They are lively, curious and active, yet ours has never once offered to bite or musk and I trust this snake to climb on my children! Ours tolerates handling very well, and seems to desire handling from time to time. He also appears to enjoy going outside on sunny warm days....



I have included photos of our cage interior, any similar set up would work fine. Click the green button.



Hides are not required, this snake will "hide" and feel comfortable in it's tree.

[infernalis]

Tami,
That is exactly the "nit picking" I am looking for:D

I am of a racer mentality, someone calls you a chicken, you go faster...

If I was afraid of criticism, I would not have asked for that first:)

When it is perfected, then the praise part is earned......

And you are correct, my anger toward irresponsible dealers does not belong on a care sheet.:eek:

Look at it now:cool:

[jitami]

Lookin good!

Need to fix punctuation here:
Giant Asian Green snakes are diurnal, or a day snake. active while it is light, and sleep when it is dark,
Should either be a comma after day snake or capital A in active. I'd prob go with the comma or a dash(-).


And here:
Our specimen has readily accepted night crawlers as food, and refused all other offerings, This is not such a bad thing, night crawlers are full of protein!
Period after offerings.



And could do so here as well, but not a huge deal:
This species is of a very mild temperament, they are lively, curious and active, yet ours
I'd do a period after temperament, then a new sentence with a capital T in they.

[crzy_kevo]

looking good so far wayne
i didn't know those snakes ate daily

[srsb]

Wayne, one thing you told me when I was trying to get Mr. Greeny to eat--- you mentioned that Limon would only eat WC worms. That could be important, as I had specifically gone out to buy worms instead of using ones from my yard prior to your giving me that information.

sonja